Career, Marriage and Mission - Balancing Dharma in Spiritual Life | ISKCON Kanpur | Radheshyam Das transcript

Namah Namo Om Vishnu Krishna Bhutale Srimati Bhaktivedanta Swamin It Nam Namaste Saraswati Devi Gaurav Ani Pracharini Nirvishesha Sunyavadi Paschatya Desha Tarini Vancha Kalpataru Bhyascha Kripa Sindhubhya Eva Cha Patitanam Pavanebhyo Vaishnavebhyo Namo Namaha Jaya Sri Krishna Chaitanya Prabhu Nityananda Sri Advaita Gadadhara Srivasadi Gaura Bhakta Vrinda Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare >> [clears throat] >> So This seminar will be very paradigm changing seminar for you huh unlike a regular type of things you hear about balancing career marriage and mission >> [cough] [clears throat] >> The most fundamental learning from the seminar is that marriage career all these things are vehicle for the mission and not replacement for it generally what people think when they come for seminars like this you know maybe probably it's just time management huh how to fit our chanting time and [snorts] our professional time and family time but when you go through it you will understand uh is it big enough or is it small can see see >> [clears throat] >> three fundamental misunderstandings we should first clear uh >> [snorts] >> you see when you talk about marriage career and mission marriage is not the goal Krishna consciousness is the goal uh whether you are a Brahmachari or a Grihastha uh whoever you be ultimately are you spirit soul or you a Grihastha see you take a soul spirit soul from Brahmachari's body and a Grihastha's body when the soul comes out you know does [snorts] it have any Grihastha or Brahmachari tag to it soul does not have the tag only in this world you have a tag called as Grihastha sometimes even a boy who is a Brahmachari now might have been a Grihastha in the previous life or somebody who is a Grihastha now might have been a Brahmachari in the previous life quite possible or not yeah it's quite possible so what one should know that the uh [snorts] goal is purifying purification of heart and going back to God that should be remembered similarly career career is not the goal seva is the goal but career is just a additional assistance for you to earn your livelihood in this world but you actually want to do which one is pleasing to the soul seva or working in a company seva gives you nourishment like because seva is done out of love for guru without any expectation in return correct now it's very touching there are many people in our Pune temple they would come to temple in the afternoon Brahmachari will be eating and then anybody can come and sit and take prasad together so the temple culture is very liberal culture in that sense uh whoever comes give prasad to everybody whoever comes don't ask who they are treat them warmly because they are all Krishna's children correct now so the spiritual life is such a very broad welcoming uh approach we have in spiritual life so people coming to temple also you may not even know what their name is but today voluntarily take the buckets to go and wash it and some people help in serving prasad uh some people put the chatai many of us we may not even know that each other's names also but everybody knows one thing we all are entering service to Krishna correct now so uh the difference between the work you do in office and the service you do in temple is in the office work you know there is a boss and there are workers below him employees the relationship is not a loving relationship you know the employee thinks I will give less work and earn more money and the employer thinks I will offer lesser salary and I'll get more work done correct now so when boss is away for a week employee is very happy huh thank God boss may yet one week I can relax nothing like that and employee is always complaining that boss overloads me correct now hm and boss always has a complaint employee is not fast enough correct now our our do correct [snorts] now so and also the relationship is not pure and based on love because if the salary stops your work stops also that is the office relationship whereas when you come to temple when you come to the temple here the services that we do everybody can do every service correct now here uh we don't have anything again a company you have one station that and I don't think in company you will take a jar do and be sweeping there whereas in temple even you may be a big manager in a company here you can sweep correct now you can wash pots and you can sweep and many other services you can do because it is done for whose pleasure Krishna's pleasure so career is not the goal seva for Krishna is the goal similarly mission marriage and career are vehicles for the mission not replacement for the mission sometime what happens a boy when he is in the college or in the vice center he is very enthusiastic he did lot of preaching book distribution services and all that moment he marries suddenly he disappears from the community sometime three years four years they don't show up and then they come back to ask the Prabhu what happened Prabhu ji just now I got married and it took me three years to settle down family they say then after three years by the time he starts coming to temple immediately their wife become pregnant again two three years you don't see them so it shouldn't happen like that because these people what happens to him is they are too much taking the burden of the family without becoming themselves Krishna conscious actually see if you become Krishna conscious your family life will become like a swab of cotton very light very easy to manage see Krishna conscious means the spirit uh otherwise the matter is very heavy spirit is very light you will see that like Prabhupada says if you have to carry a suitcase it's very heavy because it is matter uh dead matter on the other hand you have to take a child with you to the school you just give one finger child can hold it and you can walk and the child keeps walking because there is spirit where there is spirit it's very light when there is spirit there is no matter it is very heavy isn't it so if you keep your Krishna conscious spirit high then the matter connected to the spirit is not difficult to lift hm like out of the two which is important horse or horse carriage is important which one horse isn't it so if you put the cart before the horse you know here you put the cart and horse is behind waiting and the cart move no you have to put the horse before the cart so the horse is Krishna conscious if you put Krishna consciousness before your material duties you will see that that Krishna consciousness will make your material duties very easy we will see how today we will see the details and you will see you will appreciate that point read that one of you Understand the real goal first >> [snorts] >> the biggest mistake youth make is thinking >> uh Mike Mike is not there The biggest mistake youth make is thinking first settle career then settle marriage then do spiritual life but this is illusion because Maya never says now everything is settled please serve Krishna peacefully problems never end you think Maya will ever tell you that now beta now everything settled now now you can go to Krishna will say hello your material duties will keep on multiplying there's no end to them uh >> [snorts] >> it's like you have a tokri you keep on putting water and the water keeps going on and it therefore you know matter how much money you bring still it always feels that it's falling short you will feel that so if uh then what [snorts] should we do one of you can take Bhagavad Gita 1861 what is the verse find out okay let us find out 1861 what happened for you I don't is that uh Bhramayan Sarva Bhutani Yantrarudhani Mayaya not coming there now it will come now >> [snorts] >> okay see here can see here >> So here Supreme Lord is sitting in everyone's heart, Arjun, and is directing the wanderings of all living entities who are seated as a paramission.

You know, the Supreme Lord localizes the super soul. Therefore, all the activities of living entities are directed by the super soul. The living entity gets what he deserves and is carried by the material body, which is created in the material energy under the direction of the super soul. This should be remembered. For example, you are driving a car, you are the spirit soul. And the car is matter. And both are controlled by the traffic police.

That is Ishwar. Right now? That is a controller. Like both the car is also controlled by the traffic police and you are also controlled. Right now? You cannot just when there's a red signal, you have to stop. Green signal, you move. India, keep the car on left. America, keep the car on right side. Huh? So, you have to follow the norms. Similarly, he says here, "Super soul guides both your body and your and the soul also, huh?

So, as soon as the living entity is placed in a particular type of body, he has to work under the spell of that bodily situation. A person seated in a high-speed motor car goes faster than one seated in a slower car. Uh though the living entities drivers may be the same, correct now? See, one of you boys here, you are driving a Luna. Another boy, we give him a Mercedes-Benz. Naturally, who will come first? Yeah. Although both of you are same type of driver.

Correct now? Similarly, with the order of the super soul, supreme soul, material nature fashions a particular type of body to a particular type of living entity so that he may work according to his past desires. The living entity is not independent. One should not think himself independent of the supreme personality of Godhead. The individual is always under Lord's control. Therefore, one's duty is to surrender. And that is the injunction of the next verse, which says, "Tam eva sharanam gachcha." He says that.

So, the point is any intelligent devotee should know that the whole universe is created by Krishna and is being maintained by Krishna. And even in my life also, Lord is seated in my heart as super soul. He's watching my intention, my actions, and everything. So, he is controlling everything in this world. Career, your marriage, your income, your future. Your your the Lord. That's the point emphasized. Hm? Because Krishna ultimately is means director.

Anumanta, permiter. Bharta, maintainer. Bhokta, the supreme enjoyer. Ishwara, the supreme controller. Paramatma, his name is Paramatma. Dehe smin is in your body only. Purusha, You are You may say, "I am also Purusha." He says, "No, para ha is transcendental. You are only ordinary Purusha. He's a transcendental Purusha. You are entangled in the body, but he is not entangled. He is actually your master. Like that he's saying.

So, as soon as you know that here is the master, see initially how the jiva is, uh like you are the driver driving car. You think this is my car and I am driving it, but actually Malik is behind you. You can't even see the Lord in the in your body. Then slowly, Malik comes to this side. When you're driving it, somebody's sitting here. Who is that, you think? Behind. You can a little bit see him. Then from there, he comes to the front.

Then he's sitting. And then you understand it is not your car, it is his car only. You know? And he has allowed you to drive out of affection. He has given you, "Okay, chalo, you drive. No problem." Then you take his guidance. "Okay, now you tell me, sir, how should I drive? Where do you want me to go?" That's that type of awareness will come in our life also. Generally, people think, "I am very important. And Krishna is also there in my life." Like that people think.

Big circle, I. And then Krishna is a small circle. Gradually, as you advance in your spiritual life, this circle shrinks, shrinks, shrinks. And you may say, "I am there, but Krishna is everything." Krishna becomes a big circle. Correct now? So, uh if you understand the real goal of life is to is glorification of God and purification of heart. Yeah. Read that. >> [clears throat] >> All four ashramas exist for one purpose only.

Not comfort, not pleasure, not >> Heading? Heading? The ashrama system designed for purification. >> Yeah. All four ashramas exist for one purpose only. Not comfort, not pleasure, not security, only purification. Okay, now my guru my guru Maharaj was telling one husband wife when they were getting married, he said, "You may think that marriage day is a day of enjoyment because the husband is put on a horse, [snorts] they put a turban, and all the family members dance katakari dance katakari dance katakari. >> [laughter] >> You've seen that they dance?

They throw colors. Everybody's dancing for your pleasure. You are on the top of a horse. But that is only for one day in your lifetime. Right now? Right now? After that, it's a life of responsibility." He was telling. Uh although people come and give you gifts and they pamper you on one day, but the subsequently, whole life you have to take responsibility. responsibility. So, similarly, becoming a brahmachari means life of responsibility again.

Becoming grihastha means life of responsibility because you accept panigrahanam, hand of that woman, and do agnivaram. So, to live as a ekapatnivrata, accepting your wife and be chaste to her, loyal to her. And for wife to be loyal to you, it takes a lot of, you know, physical, mental effort to preserve that purity and sanctity in the family life. And also, there is going to be eventually a lot of [clears throat] differences in opinion.

Uh some clashes will come. But husband and wife know that our parents have got us married that they stay together. Learn trnad api sunicena, taror api sahishnuna. And then you can go on and on with life. Hm? On the other hand, it is very easy for you to be like a playboy, go from one girl to another girl, and roam around. But then such boys develop deadly diseases, huh? They develop sexually transmitted diseases, more than two dozen diseases, are there.

And they will have to spend lakhs of rupees and still you won't get cured. And there are people like that. And also, they will have no emotional stability also. Because there is no one wife. They're hopping and jumping from people. Someday, they'll get shot also. Somebody. Because you can't meddle with woman and go scot-free. Anybody [snorts] you tried, they all got into trouble. See, Indra tried to get in touch with the Gautama Rishi's wife.

And he was cursed to get all over the body woman's yoni. You know that? Uh-huh. [snorts] Because he felt so ashamed, he begged the sage. And the sage told, "Okay, lust is entered up through the eyes. So, I made him a sahasra lochana." Right now? Nobody can do nonsense and go scot-free in this world, including Indra also, huh? So, in this way, if you live a wanton life of sense enjoyment, you are going to suffer [snorts] terribly in this life and next life.

And if you are going to lead a married life, then it's a life of responsibility. Hm? So, there are boys who don't marry nowadays. And they say, "Puji, I'm afraid to join ashram because, you know, I'm not so confident to join full-time." Then you tell them to marry. They say, "I'm afraid of marriage also." Because then you have to take care of wife and, you know, family maintenance, so many things will come. So, some of the boys are hanging around till 30, 35. >> [clears throat] >> One such boy, somewhere, when he was saying like this, now he got into affairs with three, four girls.

And now, one of the girls has put a police case on him. Because he got [snorts] too intimate with somebody. So, you will see that this is a practical problem, huh? Because if you are not married, one can fall prey to illicit sex. Yeah. And if you are married, it's a life of responsibility. So, one [snorts] may say, "Arey, whichever side you go, there's problem." That is material world. Papa says, "Danger must be there because you have put yourself in a dangerous position." He says that.

Therefore, out of everything, the best thing is to follow a life of responsibility. Responsible brahmacharis become glorious brahmacharis. Responsible grihasthas become most adored by everybody. They become counselors, they become preachers. They become very, very powerful role models for many people. So, all of you, because you have accepted NS, it is ideal that you become responsible grihasthas. Yeah. Yeah. Read that.

From critical truth video. All four ashramas Yeah, yeah. They are there only to exist for purification. Brahmacharya, what it prepares? Prepares discipline. And grihastha? Grihastha provides stability. Vanaprastha prepares detachment. Sannyas gives full absorption. Uh read the critical truth. Critical truth. Grihastha is not a downgrade. Grihastha is a responsibility upgrade. Marriage will not reduce your problems. It will increase responsibility.

Done without Krishna, it increases bondage. Done with Krishna, it increases purification. >> Uh If you try to do grihastha ashram without Krishna, it increases bondage. But if you include Krishna consciousness in your family, then it leads to purification. You get better and better and better. Uh So, that is your choice. How you want to want your life to be. So, it's a responsibility upgrade. That's the whole point. Uh So, Grihastha ashram is a wonderful opportunity for those who are willing to be responsible right now.

If you are willing to be responsible, then you can you can do wonders in this world. You will That will be highly respected ashram it is. Provided one acts as a responsible Grihastha. Oh, sorry. On the right side, do you remember? Remember the ashrama system was never designed to make life comfortable. Every stage, including Grihastha, is structured path toward complete surrender to Krishna. Enter each stage with that understanding.

You see, in this world, all good things are painful. Although they are ultimately meant for everyone's betterment. Say for example, a child gets up in the morning. He will start using that. Actually, [snorts] why should he cry? You know, mother is going to take him to the bathroom. Bathroom, and then she will extend her legs and put the child upside down. You have seen that? And then she will put some lukewarm water. >> [snorts] >> Actually, is she going to pour a smoking hot water?

No. There's no reason for child to cry. She's going to put lukewarm water, and then all the way >> [groaning] >> little bit crying. You've seen that? Isn't it? Because [snorts] child doesn't like to take bath because he want to be in tamo guna. But mother wants to bring him to sattva guna. Wake up. And then she wraps up with a with a towel and brings him and puts on new dress, and then puts powder and everything, and then puts a kajal in the eyes, and ties with a rubber band or something in the bow. >> [laughter] >> And then the child will be smiling.

You have seen that? After bathing, he will smile, but till then he creates a lot of problem for the mother. You've seen now? So, it's a good activity. That means, you know, getting bathed every day, getting the teeth brushed, it's a responsible thing, correct now? It's a good thing, but unfortunately, in this world, good thing people don't like. >> [clears throat] >> They want to be responsible. In the same manner, studying your subjects well and bringing good marks gives you happiness, gives parents happiness, and then you get placed in a good job also.

But people don't want to study. They When the semester starts, they think, "Oh, another 6 months are there. Towards the end, let us take more tension that time." You see, people store for tension later, correct? So, therefore, if one is willing to take responsibility, although there's a little trouble, but it will in the end it will be good. Read that. Your job is not your identity. Most youth develop the wrong identity.

I am an engineer. I am an IT professional. I am a businessman. No, you are a servant of Krishna. Career is your service vehicle. Bhagavad Gita 3.9. Work must be done as a sacrifice for Vishnu, otherwise it binds. >> Yeah. You understand now? So, see, you are this [snorts] lifetime you are an engineer. Previous lifetime you might have been a doctor also, possible or not? Yeah. This is a changing dharma. It's not a permanent dharma.

Correct now? See, what is bodily dharma? The bodily dharma is to is constantly change. The body changes from childhood to boyhood to youth to old age, and one day it falls off. That is bodily dharma. And mental dharma, mind is also constantly changing. How many of you have seen sometimes your mind is fresh, sometimes it is clouded, sometimes you are happy, sometimes you are sad, correct now? Mind is going to change this always.

So, body changes, mind changes, only the soul doesn't change, huh? The soul always is the Similarly, Krishna doesn't change, soul doesn't change, that the sambandha is eternal. So, understand that your career is your service vehicle. See like that. I will use my career to become Krishna conscious. One should think like that. Like what all a professional man can do as a devotee, if you see. Like when you are going to the company, you can tell them about temple festivals, correct?

I used to give out cards from temple festival cards to colleagues and all. You can give. Similarly, you can ask the company, "Can ISKCON put a book table for distribution?" Many companies allow, correct now? Like Bajaj Auto and other companies, Cognizant. Like we even put a book table in the Tech Mahindra. We had Tech Mahindra five branches in Pune. So, in all the branches they allowed us to put a book table for the workers.

They want to uplift the morale of the workers, correct now? So, in this way, you are working in a company, you can think what Maybe I'll go to the HR department and check whether we can arrange a program. Some duo brahmachari can come and do a one-time program. And then if I find some interested people, I can cultivate them. >> [snorts] >> So, if somebody's thinking like that, that means he's working, making money, but he's also thinking how to spread Krishna consciousness.

Then that will keep you truly blissful. Now, read that. The three purposes for your career. Career has three purposes only. First, peaceful maintenance. Maintain yourself and family peacefully. Not luxury, not show off, not comparison, just peaceful maintenance. Second, support Krishna's mission. Printing books, supporting temples, supporting preaching. Your income becomes a spiritual when used for Krishna. Third, protect your mind.

Unemployment creates create disturbance. Proper occupation creates a stability for a spiritual practice. So, when you have occupation, every one of you sitting here, you have to have some occupation. And when you are properly situated and you get a monthly salary regularly, then you are you it creates stability for you. Or you are doing a business as an entrepreneur, and you you know, you have a stable situation, then mind is stable because mind gets disturbed when you don't have a stable occupation.

Because what happened? Three people will trouble you if you don't have a job. Who is that? Your mother, your wife, and your sister. >> [snorts] >> Because women are highly insecure. They will nag you like anything. You know? They will ask you Don't know bahar jao. Go and find out. Because once you start earning money, they will delight very much. They will be very happy. So, the stability comes when you have an occupation.

And [snorts] also your income becomes spiritual if you give charity for spiritual activities like printing books, supporting preaching, and all that. And if you lead a peaceful maintenance life, put yourself in maintenance mode, not in luxurious mode. If any of you want to lead a luxurious life, you will very soon find yourself very miserable. Because [snorts] there is no end to luxury. You know? People want more and more and more finer and finer enjoyment.

How many of you have seen marriage card they print one one card 5,000 rupees. There are people who print like that, correct now? Rich people. So, the more you go for luxury, the more money you have to earn also. Then you won't have Krishna time. You will have only maya time you will have. Read below, danger. Danger. Career becoming your master. No time for chanting, no time for seva, no time for association. Then career has become maya.

Correct mentality. Career supports Krishna consciousness. Krishna consciousness does not support career. Yeah. Our career should support our Krishna consciousness. Like what is the meaning of that, I will tell you. I want to get up in the morning, I want to chant and hear some Srimad Bhagavatam. You know, I want to cook bhoga and offer to Lord and eat prasadam properly, and then I go to hit the traffic on the road >> [clears throat] >> after 9:00 or something like that.

At night I am back at 6:00. I take a you know, warm shower. And uh uh and then after that, you know, I give some time for the family or I do some preaching, correct now? So, in this way, when when you have morning for Krishna, daytime for profession, evening for family, right now? So, you have some allotted time like this, then you will see that evening also, while giving time to family, you can take them for a program also.

You go in the same car, husband, wife, child. They are happy to meet their other matajis may happen to meet her friends. Children are happy to meet their friends. You can meet your friends. And then evening program is not necessarily a heavy-duty philosophical program always. It also is a families meeting with each other, taking prasadam together, you know, befriending with other families. It's very light evening. So, in this way, one or two days evening you go out for the program, other one or two days you do some book distribution or something, spend some [clears throat] time with the family reading at least 15 minutes together something, Bhagavatam or something.

Then family feels that you are paying attention, huh? Then morning you are giving for Krishna, daytime you go for profession. So, in this way, it's a peaceful maintenance mode. When the family becomes problem, you compare yourself with other colleagues. In When I was traveling in one city, one mataji was telling about her husband. She brought her husband and said, "Pravuji, and this fellow works 16 hours a day." I asked, "Why are you working?" She said, "He has taken a Mercedes Benz, and he has purchased a independent bungalow." He said, "And all are on loan." She said.

So, he He to pay back, huh? Then I saw the situation. And he's doing two to jobs. Six hours he's working. So, I asked him, "Prabhu, why do you take so much trouble? Instead of Mercedes Benz, sell it off and buy a Maruti." Instead of independent big bungalow, you have only you and your wife and small baby. So, you guys can live in a 2 BHK, right now? And that to take on rent. Later on you can buy. And your job then I asked him, "If you do what I'm saying, how many hours you just work?" Just eight hours I have to work.

Wonderful. You are happy. Wife will be happy. Wife said, "Prabhu, you brilliant idea you gave. Thank you." She was telling. But that man, you know what he told me? See, I studied with four other friends of mine in my college days. Now, all my friends have Mercedes Benz. All of them are big big big businessmen. I am the only one I was not having. Now, recently I took a loan and purchased it. To show to my friends, I'm also in par with you guys.

And they have independent bungalows, so I have to have independent bungalow. So, in this way, for the sake of a luxurious life he's burning out his body. You understand? So, do you want a luxurious life or you want to have, you know, peaceful maintenance? Yeah. Then, if you don't want to show off or don't compare, no luxury, simple life, then you will get ample of time for yourself. I have seen both types of families.

Like another family I saw in one city, the uh husband is a Hindi MA. And wife is a Sanskrit MA. She has done. So, both are teaching in the same school. So, their house is here. Five minutes they go to school. And this side five minutes they go, there is this kind of temple. Yeah. So, they have a house in between. And the wife and husband both are earning 24,000 rupees only each. So, totally 48,000. That's all. And he goes to call a school.

He has one cabin. She has another cabin. He said three periods in a day he has to give. That's all. 35 35 minutes. After that he sits and reads Lilamrita very peacefully. In his own cabin. And wife also, she teaches also three Hindi periods. She teaches in three four classes. And she has her thing. And he was telling that you know, morning they go at 9:00 and evening about 4:35 they're back at home. Huh? And then he said evening we go to this kind of temple.

And there are many programs happening in the city. Me and my wife, he said so far preaching programs to two almost two three days a week they go. On those days they don't cook dinner also at home. You can take prasada there only. So, that's another good news. Correct? Huh? You go over a program, you get program, you get to meet friends, you take prasada, you hear nice Krishna katha, come back and take rest. Correct? Huh?

So, this devotee was telling how he said, "Prabhu, hardly we have, you know, 20 maximum 20,000 we spend." How much they save? 28,000 because they don't go anywhere. They are They go to the whole morning program in temple only. They attend [snorts] everything up to the close to Bhagavatam class. They take prasada and they push off. And then they go to school. And in the evening come back, go for attending some program or do some book distribution at the temple.

And then they are all together. They're very happy people. Very contented family I saw. Very amazing. So, no show off, no luxury, no comparison. Correct? Huh? So, peacefully they are maintaining and the life is going on nicely. Huh? Read that. Reality every youth must understand. Marriage is not romantic entertainment. Marriage is austerity. Purpose of marriage, not in the enjoyment, purification, control of senses, stable spiritual life.

Srila Prabhupada See, brahmacharis, they have to control their senses in such a way that whole life they cannot even touch a woman. They can't interact with a woman with a lusty look or anything. Then there'll be a terrible consequence for them. Huh? So, they have to control their senses. And they also have to use their body, mind, words only for guru's service. Gurau sudrida saugraha. So, you will see whichever brahmachari does that, whoever controls his senses and mind and engages his body, mind, and words burning out his body in guru's service, they will become very very powerful brahmacharis.

You will see that. There are many brahmacharis like that. Now, in the in this adopting the same principle in grihastha ashram also, it is You don't become a grihastha for sense gratification. But the ashram is actually meant for purification. And [snorts] they also have control of senses in grihastha ashram also. Mhm. If one is going to not make an effort to practice stable spiritual life and control senses, and they will gradually over a period of time uh they will experience terrible problems to solve.

You'll find. Many husband wife fights or quarrels. Mhm. Like one man was telling his counselor was very much telling him to get initiated. You are chanting 16 rounds for so many years. You should go and all. He took initiation and then but he was not coming to temple. He was not going for counselor meeting three months or so. So, the counselor was very concerned and worried about him. So, they sent one devotee to his house.

He said, "What can I do, Prabhu? You know, she have to take my daughter for Bharatnatyam class. I have to take my son for the swimming in the evening. He's going for swimming practice. And I am also [snorts] doing one extra job nowadays because I have a plan to send my son abroad in future for studies. I'm spacing special money I'm saving." So, in this way this fellow was bustling with activity in material life. Although he was initiated, he's he's chanting with his counter.

He's not able to chant because he has made a created a mess in his material life. He has a ego that my son should go to America and I want to earn money and send him. You know? And my daughter should prove to be a great Bharatnatyam dancer. I will personally make sure she will do it during Janmashtami and 2,000 people will watch. He has these material ambitions. But his spiritual life is going for a toss. You understand?

Huh? So, uh read that. Four This one second one. Srila Prabhupada taught marriage is a license for regulated sense gratification, not unrestricted enjoyment. >> Yeah, unrestricted enjoyment in sex life, unrestricted enjoyment in eating habits. Some grihasthas, you know, they don't strictly even follow uh you know, the principle of eating only prasada. Sometimes they think once in a while we'll go for outing and eat in a hotel out.

So, if a if a initiated devotee compromises on those things, they will lose potency, power. Huh? So, similarly sometimes somebody who is a grihastha has a double standard life. You know what is it? Double standard means uh when they come to temple, you know, they wear dhoti, kurta, sari. They look like very simple devotees. When they go out, they dress different type of dress like karmis. And some of them are so foolish they even post it in their What do you call it?

In their WhatsApp they put one picture. >> Status. A status. Yeah. They put it in status sometimes. Other devotees see it and they are shocked. Hey, you look like some, you know, looks like some Goa people. You know, you know, people you you are dressing like in a different type of dress. What kind of devotee you are? There was one counselor who had put some stylish dress, husband wife embracing and putting it was in status and devotees came and showed and of course they removed it later on.

The point is a devotee cannot look like a karmi. Like all of you are wearing dhoti, kurta. You are supposed to be having This is why the voice training is very important. Be a proper devotee. Don't have a chameleon standard. What is chameleon? Chameleon is brown on the tree, green on the grass. Similarly, some devotees in temple, they'll be Hari Bol. They'll be dancing and singing and, you know, looking like a devotee.

When they go in the outside world, they deal with karmis and they dress differently. So, uh huh? Uh girgit. Girgit is chameleon. Yeah. >> [laughter] >> You know? So, marriage is surely a license for regulated sense gratification but not unrestricted enjoyment. Huh? Read that. Four responsibilities of the husband. First, protection, physical, emotional, and spiritual protection. Wife must feel safe. Yeah. Stability. >> One uh uh you know, one husband, he was he was in the real estate.

His wife, of course, they had three children, all small small, one one year difference. You know? Small small kids. The wife was sick. So, they both came and met me the next day. The wife was weeping and telling me that, "Prabhu, this fellow, you know, he has no sensitivity. You know, I I need to go to hospital. He didn't even take me to hospital." She said, "I used I told him, 'Prabhu, you know, see you have She has three children, all small small kids.

You know, why don't you take her?'" Prabhu, I took her. I don't know why she's saying like this. I said, "Why is she saying he took you?" She said, "No, he didn't take." She said. Then I came to understand. He took his wife and three children to his real estate office. And he kept the children and told the wife, "You just cross the road, go and come." The hospital was just across the road. So, he didn't go with her. So, she thought that he doesn't care about me.

Correct? Huh? He was busy making phone call, doing business. So, therefore many of you boys staying in wise, you may not know the emotional need of for Huh? This is one area which probably you have to learn from grihasthas. Yeah. In the family life. Now the wife said he didn't take me to hospital. Why? Because he brought her up to his office, but he didn't take her to hospital. Because the people like your mother, your father, later on when you marry your wife, they expect that you just go with them, tell the doctor what is her problem.

And then and then you sit with them and give them company and prove to them that you are caring for them. All right. Generally they see it's it's a kind of care. Similarly one husband wife, they both are working in a IT company. The wife was telling in the evening, "Just see my life. Huh? You know, all day I'm working. When I come back I have to take care of my in-laws. You know, you are your mother, your father, they are old people.

And we have a small school-going kid. When I come back the kid is demanding my time. Uh and I have to wash my sari and everything and clothes. "Just see how my life is." She said. Husband said, "You better give up the job. You know, why do you have to go? We have an adequate money." She said, "That's not the point. You don't understand." You know, [snorts] she said that. He said that. "You You are asking me to give up the job.

What are you talking?" So she was not happy. Husband said, "Then what? You know, then you put your child in residential school. Huh? Uh I mean in the They will have a their own hostel somewhere in Ooty or somewhere. So you don't have to take care of child." She said, "That's not the point. You don't understand." she said. "Then maybe you don't like mother-in-law, father-in-law, you have trouble. So maybe we will send them back to my other brother's family.

So you won't have that burden of taking care of them." She said, "That's not the point. You don't understand." And husband is wondering how can I pull that? I have made adjustment everything. You know, actually what she needed was when she said, you know, "I'm doing this. I'm doing He has to tell her that my Lord I really wonder. See, I am also IT engineer. You are also IT engineer. But when I come home, I practically do nothing.

But you are doing everything. She said, "I am I am so grateful to you. You are a good wife. Nobody in this world can do what you are doing." She will say, "That is the point." And that psychology this fellow doesn't know for that. See, the man's Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. Their minds work differently. It's Like for example, those two fans are running and this is See, the last one is not running now. >> [clears throat] >> Similarly in a house, the wife is putting on the fan.

Fan is not working. She will talk about it 2 hours. She Everybody who comes they will say, "Am I going to find a guy like him who won't let me >> [laughter] >> I see it's in the decoration gallery like that. She will talk to dozen people about it. But if she tells the husband fan is not working, immediately he will get a spanner, he will get the tool, he will put it. Generally men are action-oriented. Women are emotion-oriented.

All right now. And that is why it's very difficult to understand the psychology. It's always better to be humble and respectful. I am because we cannot understand Both have do Their right brain is active for men. Left brain active. Left brain is more logical. And right brain is creative and emotional. So they see the same thing differently. Like if a man comes to a temple, you know, he will ask it it is the area here.

Huh? It is the square feet here. Like that he will ask. He will think about the area, land and things like that. And wife will look at the chandelier. She will appreciate the chandelier. She will appreciate the decoration. She is hardly concerned about the size of the temple. Because one sees from a you know, male psychology is different, female psychology is different. So it's a very big subject you will learn eventually.

But the point is protection. Wife must feel safe. Then stability. Financial, mental and emotional stability. Wife depends on husband's steadiness. Uh She should see the husband is steady bringing money. And husband doesn't become suddenly angry or yells or something like that. Then mentally he's not stable. Correct now? So his mind and emotional stability should be. So see, when you are in vice or when you are [snorts] at home, you might throw tantrums.

But if in family life you throw tantrums, that can be very very problematic. One has to learn to stabilize one's emotions. Because if husband is not steady, the wife gets extremely disturbed. So those who have taken spiritual training like all of you, it's expected that you know, we behave you know, nicely. And then next one. Leadership. Not dictatorship. Spiritual leadership by example. Your behavior teaches more than your words.

Yeah. So we have to show spiritual leadership like Yudhishthira Maharaj. Not dictatorship. If you Dictatorship means vasanubas. The dictates. Next. Spiritual direction. Help your wife advance spiritually. Not both feeling into material falling into materialism. Yeah. Actually if husband is passionate, wife becomes passionate. If husband is in goodness, wife also goes to goodness. Because our wife is purpose, wife becomes a follower of the husband.

Prabhupada writes in Srimad Bhagavatam. So therefore husband should be connected to guru. Guru will pull him up. Then wife husband will pull his wife up. Then wife will pull the children up. Then all of them will go you know, to the destination very smoothly. On the other hand, if husband is disconnected from ISKCON and guru, then he'll be become a joru ka ghulam. You say no? He'll become a henpecked husband like like our Suruchi's husband Uttanapada, like that.

So then he will follow wife. And the wife will follow the children. Excellent make them. Then children drag the mother and the mother drags uh husband like that. Then they're going opposite direction. Read [snorts] that. Reality warning. Marriage multiplies expenses, responsibilities, and mental demands. If your sadhana is weak before marriage, it will collapse after. Marriage Now Now it is weak, after marriage it will collapse.

Yeah. Marriage does not strengthen weak devotees. Marriage tests strength. So it is going to test your strength. So you build the strength now only, you know, before marriage. Because life of responsibility. And if your sadhana is weak before marriage, then after marriage it is gone. So therefore there is a wrong notion amongst boys somebody who is weak in sadhana can go to Nityananda Sabha and then you get married. That's a wrong notion actually.

Whether you are in Nityananda Sabha or Gaura Sabha, both have to be strong devotees. Now both are internally inspired by the Lord in the heart to accept one of the one of the two ashrams. Correct now? But whether you are going to marry or not marry, you know, morning program should be a very solid program. Sleep early, rise early. Yeah. Never forget your original purpose. You did not come to Krishna consciousness to become a comfortable grihastha.

You came to serve Krishna. Lord Caitanya's instruction. Become guru and deliver others. These instructions applies to grihasthas also. Unique preaching power. Grihasthas can preach to colleagues, society, neighbors, and family. Their example inspires society. Like Pune there is one Achyuta Krishna Prabhu. So he and his wife and their little daughter, they used to go to housing colonies door to door, you know. When they battered the door, the family people would open.

"Oh, husband wife." And they said, "Please come in. Come in." They don't even know who they are. But because the husband wife child is very respectable combination. Huh? They see some new people have come. "Please come." They make them sit in the sofa. And they ask. And then he says, "I'm working for IT company." So that fellow he studied in IIT Kharagpur. Studied in IIT Kharagpur. Now I am working with uh you know, Microsoft.

Uh we are [snorts] just uh carrying this Bhagavad Gita and Srimad Bhagavatam home to home. You know, uh then they say, "Okay, whatever books you have, please keep it here on the table. We will take it." You know, they keep it on the table and they chat with them, talk to them. Because they are also young couple. This is also young couple. They just husband wife very nicely make friendship with them, talk to them. And then they ask how much are we supposed to pay?

And this fellow say, "Okay, you can give whatever donation you want." On average it is the same. And they just try to take this 10,000, 14,000. Because they are IT people. They earn a lot. Correct now? Just give. So this couple has gone door to door like this. Many many books they have distributed in Pune. They distribute like 15,000, 20,000 books in each of the uh book marathon. They have a team of 15 devotees >> [clears throat and cough] >> they have.

So the couples go home to home like that. You know, on the other hand a brahmachari cannot do that. If a brahmachari goes to a home and battered the door, and husband has gone to office, Mataji opens the door. "Who is that?" Sadhu baba. "Husband is not here. He's gone out or something." But on the other hand, if a couple goes to a home, even if one lady is single also no problem because they are going as a couple. There's no problem.

So [snorts] grihasthas can act as an interface between temple and the the mass of people. Yeah, correct. The danger. Many devotees after marriage become career-centered or family-centered instead of Krishna-centered. This is so slow spiritual death. Very dangerous. >> [laughter] >> If you become family-centered means, you know, me and my wife. Some men become very much henpecked husbands. Then they will decorate the wife.

You get the sarees, you get ornaments, you decorate her with all costumes. Instead of decorating the deities, you decorate the wife. And circumambulate the wife round and round. Isn't it? They become family centered. Me, my wife, my children, you know, my job, and my home. This is my beautiful home. Some homes you go and all the walls you find family members' photos. Any How many of you have seen that? Correct, no? You see that.

You won't find one Krishna picture there. That means they are what centered? Family centered, yeah, correct, no? Ideally speaking, you should put some Govardhan Lila, some Kaliya daman Lila, different different. So, it's you are supposed to uplift your consciousness. If you look at your own family members, then dehatma buddhi will increase. Correct, no? Body like consciousness. So, or [snorts] some people become career centered.

Career centered means what they do? They go to office in the morning at 7:00 and come back in the night at 11:00. You have seen people like that? Huh? He slogs like donkey and even wife is fed up. She says, "Why do you work so hard? You don't give time for children, you don't give time for me." You know, [snorts] there was one man like this working 16 17 hours a day. You know, one day he got a massive heart attack. He was admitted in the ICU.

So, although I mean his wife and child had divorced and gone away. So, he lost his I mean family life was finished. And health was also finished. Only money was there in pocket, that's all. >> [snorts] >> So, yeah, read that. Temporary career. >> [snorts] >> Temporary marriage, eternal mission. Like your relationship with Krishna is eternal. Krishna mission is eternal. Whereas career and marriage temporary. This should never be forgotten.

You are in a job now, one day you'll be retired and sent home. You are married now, one day you will have to leave the wife and go to the next destination. But, [snorts] if you are practicing Krishna consciousness, one day you're going to stay with Krishna forever. You understood difference, no? The relatives here, you leave them and go to another family. Whereas, once you connect with Krishna, you're going to live with Krishna for ever.

Yeah. Practical system for grihastha success. Balance is not automatic. Balance must be designed. The priority order must be fixed, and it must never be reversed. Order From below you read. Okay. Daily system or Order first Krishna. Fourth, Krishna first. Then mission, marriage, career. Why it is shown like this? Because Krishna first is the foundation of the building. And [snorts] then once you put Krishna first, Krishna first means your morning program, whole morning program, arati, chanting, you're reading Bhagavatam.

That is getting Krishna first. Then mission is to distribute Prabhupada books, to preach, and also to distribute prasadam, distribute holy name, that kind of mission. Once these two things are done well, after that you can go for married life. Now, you are already doing that, all of you. How many of you are staying in some voice center? Some voice center? How many of you are not in a voice center? How many? Oh, you have almost eight 10 of them, okay.

So, in your home also you can practice. So, [snorts] if you do if your morning program is pakka, then your Krishna first is dharma sarve upari. And mission is paropakara. Like that. These two things you do, then marriage career can come after that. Then Weekly system. And daily system, correct? Okay, daily system. Morning, chant rounds first. Not phone, not email, not work. Correct. Daytime, work honestly, avoid unnecessary material association.

So, any [snorts] colleagues come in the office to do prajalpa, you should be very smart. Say, "Hi, good morning. Bye-bye." And before they reach you, you can go ahead. Don't waste time with them. You know what type of person who is. See, being devotees, you all can study the behaviors of others, correct, no? So, you know. So, don't gossip with people. Evening, association, reading, service, family spiritual discussion.

Yeah. Evening you have time for that. And then weekly? Weekly system, temple visit, devotee association, preaching engagement. Yeah, correct. Mission must continue every week without exception. Day after day, week after week. Regularly do This is all This is what will purify you. See, what is the difference? You see both sides, you see? Material and spiritual. That side you find materialistic approach to life. I read [snorts] that.

Two types of grihasthas. Material grihasthas, they are career centered, comfort centered, sense centered. Other is spiritual grihastha. Krishna centered, service centered, mission centered. Externally, both look the same. Internally, completely different. Do not enter marriage to escape brahmacharya. Enter marriage to serve Krishna responsibly. If Krishna remains center, marriage becomes liberation. If Krishna is forgotten forgotten, marriage becomes bondage.

You know. Uh yeah. See, you can see this family. This family you can see. >> [snorts] >> See, this is a family. You know, you know. Wife is wearing jeans and the two kids are also watching TV, having a remote. Yeah. Who is the fellow putting two legs on the husband? Huh? Daughter. Daughter. Who is that? Where is the daughter? I just small one, huh? Small kid, huh? And that [snorts] fellow is having cigarette in the hand or what is it?

Huh? Pen, okay. So, he is watching. This is the materialistic Huh? Yeah. See this family. The devotee family. Oh, beautiful. Who is singing here? All are singing. And uh I think they're playing kartal, mridanga, harmonium. So, they have beautiful altar. Prabhupada has altar also. So, they have nice family. Uh where? Uh top also there. They have beautiful. Yeah, correct. So, you got nice See, this is Krishna centered, service centered, seva centered, mission centered.

Seva indoor and mission outdoor, correct, no? And this material family is uh job centered, comfort centered, sense sense gratification centered. Correct, no? >> [snorts] >> Read that. The final question. Do not ask, "How can marriage fit into my life?" Ask instead, "How can my marriage serve Krishna's mission?" Yeah, correct, no? See, the first question if you ask, "How can marriage fit into my life?" Look at this fellow how he is.

Huh? It's a big headache. So many responsibilities are going to come. How will I manage? Like that. But if you ask the second question, "How can my marriage serve Krishna's mission?" Then it's like this. Isn't it? So, then he can lead a simple life. Shri Prabhupada ki Any questions? >> [clears throat] >> Puji, Hare Krishna, Puji. Puji, you said that before marriage only we have to prepare strongly. So, can you elaborate more, Puji, about this?

Like how should we we should prepare strongly? And now you How is your life in voice center now? It's good? Yes, Puji. So, you you sadhana card you are trying to get 80 80? Sadhana card, Puji, abhi pass out hone ke baad me thoda band ho gaya, Puji. That is what is preparing. That is the meaning of preparing. You know. Yeah. That's the meaning of preparing. Now you understood what is preparing, correct, no? So, preparing means, you know, you have opportunity. >> [snorts] >> How you want your life to be.

See, I got one more picture I want to show you. Just a minute, I'll show you. I'll show you send daily report? Oh, then that is good. You are doing daily report you are sending. That is all sadhana report only, no? Oh, that is very good. If you're sending, that's very good. Wonderful. So, daily report ultimately can be made into a weekly report also, correct now? Therefore, some counselors are doing like this. They say it's better to have a daily report than weekly.

So, here one picture. See here, yeah, family without Krishna consciousness. >> [snorts] >> See, the father is shouting at mother, mother shouting at child, child is shouting at the teddy bear. >> [laughter] >> A family with Krishna consciousness. Happy, happy family. >> [snorts] >> Isn't it? So, preparatory preparation is in many levels. One as I told you in the morning, sadhana and everything. See, if you are all serious right now in the morning program, after you marry, there is nobody above you.

Like you know, brahmacharis have the temple other authorities. But if you are having your own home, your wife and child, then you have to be self-motivated. Correct, now? Is anybody going to catch you? No. You need self-motivation. That's why you say. Now you are getting support from others, but that support will not be available at that time. So, better to learn to become It's called as internal commitment. You make our commitment internal commitment.

Then only then only then it is safe for us. Otherwise, the external somebody accountability your somebody has to keep on catching you. Then after marriage, well, nobody will chase after so much. Because grihastha means many people even grihastha counselors will only help you when you go to them for some trouble. Otherwise, they allow you to be what you are. I have seen those grihasthas who rise early in the morning and also those who do book distribution and missionary activities, they always remain very active.

Yeah. Those who don't take up services, those who don't come to temple, they gradually become dried up over a period of time. Very, very routine and become very dull. Missionary activities. They take part in the morning program and take part in missionary activities. These two things. Yeah, please. Like mine? Yeah. What you told about Hare Krishna. So, Prabhu ji, you told about uh peaceful maintenance and gave a one wonderful example of an devotee Madhavendra Prabhu ji.

But we in our situation, we are getting such training and we are in the wise, so we are able to understand and keep connect that thing that yes, it is important for our life. But uh when it comes about our parents, so they didn't got such training. You don't You don't worry about the demands made by the parents. Parents will tell you to go for a big job, big bring big money, buy a independent bungalow. Raja jaisa jeena chahiye.

I say they expect you. So, you have to ask, you know, Krishna and Radha and Krishna are your ultimate parents. Correct, now? What parent you got in this life is a local parent, but they are global parents. Whom are you going to listen, huh? The global parents or blood parents or whoever? See, if you are born rich like you know, Ambani's, you can have big house, not a problem. You know, but if you're not born like you know, Tata, Birla, Ambani's and the families like that, and we if you're going to ask for luxurious life, then that's going to compromise on your Krishna consciousness.

Some boys went in that direction. They said humko to kuch karke dikhana. They went headlong in material life. They given up all chanting. No. They're not doing. So, some of you boys thinking here you may be thinking in the mind that means if you want to be Krishna conscious, should I be, you know, forgoing all my ambitions? Correct, now? So, my point is very simple. You be ambitious without compromising on Krishna consciousness.

Morning, there is one devotee I'll tell you one example. In America, there was a boy called Prakash, you know? He was studying in MIT, Massachusetts, I in Boston. So, very, very reputed institute. It is one of the top notch world ranking institute, MIT, Massachusetts. So, during his college days, undergrad and postgrad, he's an Indian boy, but studied there. You know, he made a group of during his He was a chaplain of the uh college club also.

He made He made about 25 to 30 boys into sannyasa orders. Huh? He preached like that very powerful. He's a disciple of Srila Romapada Maharaj. Preached and brought very powerfully. And uh then he started industry in Boston and you know, like till morning 10:00 he won't go. 10:00 he will go to industry and evening 5:00 it's over. So, 10:00 to 5:00. And eventually he started his own industry also over a period of time.

Employed many people there. And all his 25 boys every morning they used to come together and chant together and all. And they were not married. After they were married also, they they were staying in Boston to nearby only. They're coming together like that. And one point of time his business took him to Singapore. When he migrated Singapore, all the 25 boys went with him. They were not boys at that time. They were married.

The whole 25 families shifted there. Recently I met him when I went to Boston. We had a couple of hours talk very nicely. So, this Prakash became Paramananda Prabhu now. So, you would be shocked if you see You won't believe. He's a crorepati now. You know, he'll be clean shaven and he'll be wearing shika also. Yeah. Wearing dhoti and kurta. He looks like a full-time devotee. I said He said, "For whom should I wear pancha?

I'm the owner of the company." He said he's the owner only. And he employed [snorts] people and making in crores actually. He's a big man. And he says that Prabhu, "I don't go to company before 11:00." He said, "I have to do my morning class." Yeah, almost every day he has class and he has his morning aartis, offering bhoga, he dresses the deity, worships the deity. He looks like a full-time devotee and he's running big computer firm industry.

And hundreds of people employed with him. So, he must be now probably around 42, 45, I think. Yeah. 40, 40, 42, I think. Yeah. [snorts] There are people like that. He puts Krishna He said, "Well, for me Krishna is first. Other things follow very smoothly." He said. He said, "If I do my morning program daily, then when I go to my clients and other people, they all are able to appreciate my behavior and you know, they bring lot of businesses for me." Because my maturity comes out.

But in [snorts] case my morning program is not so good, then the day doesn't go well. He said, "My chanting is like 100% mobile charging in the morning." He said, "Do you want to charge your mobile 20% or 100%?" Correct, now? If you charge it [snorts] 20%, then in the middle of the day it will go off. Some very important call you want to make, it won't be there. Correct, now? Yeah. [snorts] I want to I want to make a video with him so that we can actually show to people across the globe how a businessman, [snorts] big businessman, how he can be.

Correct, now? Yeah. Hare Krishna, Prabhu ji. Hare Krishna. Prabhu ji, in that pyramid, there was uh the career was after the marriage. So, was it like that? I shall why it [clears throat] is shown like that I will tell you. Now all of you uh you are a student. When you are a student, you are more concerned about academics. Huh? And then when you pass out in the age of 21 or 22, when you go into job, mostly your job is like provisional in the beginning and eventually from GET, you are posted as a permanent person.

You know? So, here the salary status and all is not very big in the first few years. But the moment after you marry, the bills start coming. Huh? Bigger bills. Then for you to go the career growth becomes a very big concern after marriage. But before marriage, you are grateful if somebody gives a job. You know, some job you got, some salary is coming and most of you will see that your expenses are not that much. You will see.

But after marriage, the career becomes all important. Just like for a student, academics is all important. Similarly, for a married man, the career growth, prospects and more money for paying the bills and you know, admitting child in the school and the demands of the wife and all these things. That's why the career is given like that after marriage. Before marriage also you have a career, but that is actually preliminary stage of career.

It is. Correct, now? Yeah. How many of you do really worry too much about your career before marriage now? If you get if you get set in a job, you go on, correct now? But after marriage, you see how it will be. You will worry more and too much. And wife also will tell keep telling you, "Do this to get promotion." Yeah, because she knows if you get promotion, you also get uh more salary, more payment, things like that.

Yeah. Basically, the whole theme of this seminar which you heard now is [snorts] if you put the horse first, the cart will follow. But you put the cart first, horse will not follow. >> [snorts] >> Correct, now? Management should follow. You know, first take care of Like in a temple, if you take care of devotees, they'll take care of the project. But if you are putting project first and don't care for the people, then project cannot expand.

Similarly, in a family, husband and wife being Krishna conscious is top priority. Then Krishna will make everything smoother for you. That's the whole idea here. >> [snorts] >> Balance becomes easy for those who See, Krishna says, "Time I am." He says, "No?" So, if you have Krishna, that means you will have Yeah, I got it. Then you will have time. And if you don't have Krishna, then you don't have time. Then those are the people who become overworked.

Correct, now? It's clear, now? Yeah. I I I will use this PPT to Neelamani Krishna Prabhu. He will pass it all of you, right? So, all the best for you. Now, you all are very young and still there is time to go for your marriage. You will marry when you are like 30, 28 or 30 like that, correct, now? How many of you are above 25 here? There are a few. Half of them there, correct. For them, it's even more relevant now because they're approaching now close to marriage.

Yeah. Yeah. But when he is going to deal with the outsiders, then he has to dress himself like that only. So, what was that point like he should not put his photo on the the status like that. So. Let me tell you one thing. There are many many big scientists and very big businessmen, even owners of companies. They dress very simple and nobody talks about their dress. They appreciate the stuff which he has. The skill. Like Gaur Gopal Prabhu now, he's dressing in saffron, clean shaven, shika tilak.

Has anybody mind his dress? You know, the content he's giving is matching with what they are looking for. People, correct, now? So, dress hardly matters if Similarly, if a boy is going to a company, he's wearing tilak and going also. But if he's doing a outstanding job in AI and he is actually bringing crores of rupees profit for the company, will his boss mind it? So, these external things become important if our stuff is lacking.

Correct, now? Like I'm brahmachari now. If I don't wear a ironed dress, a pressed dress, and I don't look very elegant, you know, who is going to bother as long as I'm delivering the content? Correct, now? So, what do you look in a brahmachari? You look in a brahmachari the substance of spiritual consciousness or you look for the externals? That's what you're looking for. So, we should make sure that we don't compromise on that one.

At the same time, I'm not saying that you wear a niggardly dress. You can wear a neat dress, correct, now? But [snorts] when the life becomes luxurious, when you go for branded dress, when [clears throat] you go for branded car, branded dress, I heard it is multiple times costlier than average dress. Is it true? Anybody knows branded dress will be how many much more costly than a average dress? Almost four, five times.

Yeah. Costly becomes costlier, correct, now? Yeah. Most of the people who wear branded dress or branded things, they actually want to impress the people in society. Correct, now? So, impressing him is a very tough game. >> [snorts] >> Because then for impressing the people, you know, we have to earn a lot and spend a lot. Can we compete with karmis? Because they have no morning sadhana, we have. Because [snorts] they they don't know where are they going after death.

Because whatever these guys earn, they will leave it here and go, correct, now? Whereas we we are also living and going, but we have something spiritual treasure we are taking with us. That's why in spiritual life, look at people above you. Material life, uh people below you. Then you'll always feel, "Oh, so many are way behind. I am much better." In spiritual life, you look up, you will always want to advance more. Right, now?

Yeah, now we are also not advocating unclean dress or you know, looking very niggardly because that's that will bring disrespectability also. You can be neat, clean, but at the same time very simple. You save money, you cut costs, you give charity. Then you will see that, you know, your devotee can lead a very cool life without stressing oneself too much. Otherwise, there's so much of stress in today's society. Because people don't have contentment.

People don't have satisfaction. They want more and more and too much they want. You know? And also depends on what type of partner one gets. One gets a very simple devotee partner who doesn't have much greed, then family is a happy family. But the partner has too many demands. Get me this, get me that, and then you have to work hard to please the partner, right, now? Like Suruchi, you know? Uh Uttanapada is giving, Suruchi is wearing, you know, the necklace and she's seeing, "How do I look like?" Correct, now?

She's seeing from different angles how I am looking in this. Uh and Uttanapada is coming. She's saying, "Oh, king, this is so beautiful." So, that goes to show Suruchi's whole attention was beautifying herself. Whereas Suniti, she was telling her son, "When you become the king, you should rule the praja like your own children." You know? Prajanam pitru vatsalaha. And you should be a devotee of the supreme lord. Your king should be a lover of the supreme.

So, Dhruva very attentively heard. So, you can see the mindset of Suniti versus Suruchi. So, Suruchi has a big mirror and she's spending whole day dressing her body. Looking from different angles. So, what do you talk about this? Do we have a materialistic disposition or spiritual disposition? >> [snorts] >> So, if one wants to lofty material life, then they have to burn out themselves. Correct, now? But [snorts] it's not very conducive for a advancing seriously practicing devotee.

That's the point. Even brahmacharis also. If brahmacharis also they There are brahmacharis who are simple, study shastra, practice, preach, do the devotional activities, they are happy. There are brahmacharis who are bringing money, they are trying to take different routes, you know, to bring more money and better facility. You have car, you have this. And when you go when you accumulate a lot of material goods, a lot of anxieties come with that also.

You know? Yeah. [snorts] Uh? Uh maintenance also comes along with that. And there are brahmacharis who want to be in touch with big donors who can donate big money. And then they they will have to dance according to that tune also. Correct, now? You know? They will tell us Sabko, you know, khush karna hai. Kuch jokes boliye. They'll make you joke acharya. >> [laughter] >> Yeah. And then after you finish your talk, they'll say Anand ki >> [laughter] >> So, of course, you know, So, this this is the problem.

You you can't be a simple sadhu. You know, if you because if you need one their money, then you will have to dance according to that tune also. So, therefore, a brahmachari has to preserve his purity. Lord Lord Chaitanya refused to go to king because of that, right, now? So, in in grihastha ashrama, one can keep your life beautiful, simple, devotional minded. Here itself you should cultivate the devotional mindset before one gets into family life.

That's the whole point. You all are very fortunate in that sense. College days only you got Krishna consciousness. Not that you After marriage, when people come, sometimes it's too late for them because company life becomes too busy. Academic life side by side you all learned nicely. Every one of you sitting here, you can give lectures, you can do a weekly class. You can >> [clears throat] >> practice and propagate Krishna consciousness.

Then your family life will be a very joyful life. Wife also gets some challenges to do. And your children can be raised in such a way that make the child the role model. And then many other children can be trained through the child also. So, those boys who delight in Krishna conscious life, they are the happiest grihasthas I've seen. In Pune also we have many. Those who take up for whom Krishna conscious takes a backseat, they put material life in the front, miserable fellows.

You will see that. I'm not just telling you stories, you can come and see in devotee communities. You can see that. Uh because if you're going to headlong going to material life, then it's a life of stress, anxiety. I showed on the first day Bhagavatam class in the morning. Correct, no? Because there is, you know, competition in the field with other people who are greedy fellows, you become greedy and then it's competitive and anxiety and stress and uh you know, quarrel and uh lack of time for personal health, lack of time for family, lack of time for God.

All those things come. So, [snorts] but at same time, Gita, Bhagavatam, they never advocate lethargy. Like I told [snorts] you, morning for Krishna, daytime for profession, evening for family. So, we are allotting due time. We are not saying that, you know, give your whole day for Krishna. We are not saying that. Correct, no? So, I delayed you all very much because the professors came. One last year. >> [snorts] >> Like well, when we were in voice time, so we had devotee friends.

So, some devotees are aspiring for grhastha, some devotees are aspiring for brahmachari. So, my question is that like devotees who are aspiring for brahmachari, they are slowly renouncing, they are going not going for job and then they are joining ashram. And then we have to go for job. So, I want to maintain friendship with them also. >> You can maintain. So, after brahmachari joins ashram, you can invite him to your home for program.

Yeah, but like we see that like we are in material side. They are renouncing to But you are not in material side. That's what we showed today. Today we said, no? The the goal of a boy who's going to get married, what we said? Did we say go for become more materialistic? Did we tell you? No. Both are going to going back to Godhead. One is going like this, one is going like this. Like see, there are two doors. Some boys are coming from this door, some are coming from this door.

So, it's like two two different doors to go back to Godhead. Yeah. Here, you know, the principles like for example, brahmachari is told that don't keep any money. But grhastha is told to save money. Brahmachari is told don't look at woman. Uh Keep away from woman. Grhastha is told to accept one woman as your wife, wed that wife properly and lead a Krishna and a samsara gharo. Chadiya anachar. Correct, no? He told like that.

Brahmachari is told don't you know, stock any money. Grhastha is told you have to stock money. They are told that. And and brahmachari is told to live in the ashram of guru or the guru's sake and uh you know, you abandon everything else. So, disciple is told grhastha is told live at home for the purpose of guru, guru's order, and husband, wife, child practice together. So, you will see that they both are given two separate set of rules, but the ultimate goal of both is same.

So, how to associate with them? Because when we are doing job and all, so kabhi kabhi vo baatein unke saath ho jaati to ab vo vo to brahmachari banne wale hain. Correct. So, you should you should You know, the ashrama knowledge is one another thing. And the spiritual knowledge is same thing. Like for example, morning Bhagavatam class I spoke, it's common for all. So, that is the dharma of the soul. So, while speaking to them, speak about dharma of the soul.

While meeting other grhasthas, talk about dharma of your body. Correct, no? Like like for example, you know, when you talk to other grhasthas, you talk about, you know, matchmaking or you talk about prospects in our family and you you talk about child raising. And with brahmacharis, you can talk about, you know, with how to advance in spiritual life. You can talk about chanting, talk about reading, talk about hearing, talk about pleasing Prabhupada.

So, I told you you are a spirit soul. So, the soul's dharma, you talk with sadhus. And the body and mind also is along with the soul. So, for that you have to live in the world as a grhastha, then with grhasthas you can talk those things. So, you yourself are understanding it clearly. So, uh by mistake some time by slip of the tongue, it may come. Yes. But over a period of time you will understand what would be ideal to talk, you know?

Yeah. Like sometimes uh a husband would bring the wife and uh onto a brahmachari and they will ask you, "Uh Prabhuji, you know, you one out of the two of us, you know, one is too lusty and one doesn't want sex. What do we do, you know?" Then many brahmacharis get bewildered, "How will I answer?" They get uh frightened. You know, yeah. But they don't know how to deal with that. Because these things is not Ananta Maharaj has spoken down these things also the people.

So, the grhasthas are aware of it. So, then I told also grhasthas cannot ask uh many deep questions about family involvement to sadhus. Sadhus basically study scriptures and speak, you know? But uh then they have seen a grhastha from whom they will take counseling. Correct, no? Like Yasoda car comes here. That's the reason we are arranging that. Correct, no? And uh if you ask them, "Prabhuji, I'm going for marriage. What are the qualities I should look for in a girl?" They may not know, but I have very good notes on that.

I saw it. >> [clears throat] >> Send in the Krishna Lila. There I saw it. Some 10 12 qualities are mentioned like Both husband and wife you say that. So, older brahmacharis may have these things because they have heard from Maharaj and things like that. So, if you ask a young brahmachari, he may be he may get disturbed also. But I am I age is uh close to 58. So, then young girls come and tell me, "I should bring a lot of boys.

Please make sure one good boy I get." Some of them come and tell me also. I said, "Okay, bring your parents." I [snorts] tell them. And they bring the parents and I connect them to marriage bureau. Like that. But the young brahmacharis, if you go and talk to them, they'll get disturbed. What you said is true. So, yeah. So, now I delayed all of you too much. You take your dinner prasadam. Sri Prabhupada ki All the best to you.