Reacting to Men Writing Women transcript

What the [censored]? I just saw one line of this, and I'm... I don't think I can do this video. I don't think I could do this. Like, what the... I’m gonna need a drink after this. Hello, everybody. We're finally doing it. For years now, people have been talking about the whole men writing women phenomenon. You don't have to be a writer to be aware of this. You just have to exist on the internet. Men writing women refers to a specific sensation within the publishing industry.

It's unfortunately extremely common for male writers to write about women in a laughably terrible way. And before you boys [censored] your diaper. Yes, we know, not all male writers. But if you need me to say this, we're probably talking about you. And yes, sometimes women write men badly too. But there's usually a major difference between these two types of errors. When women write men poorly, they're usually overly tropey, or they maybe just don't speak in the way a normal human man would.

But the whole men writing women phenomenon typically relies on two very specific issues. First, there's a supreme lack of understanding about the female anatomy. Men think our bodies are glued together with toothpicks and feathers. It's just insane. And second, it's the obvious objectification of women. They have no agency or personality, and usually the only thing sentient about them are their boobs. Their boobs have more agency than the rest of their body or mind.

So for this video, my wonderful assistant Grace dug up a ton of examples of men writing women. Some of these examples are from Reddit. Some of these are from the various social media platforms dedicated to men writing women. I'm going to go through these examples one by one. And you know what? Maybe some of them will surprise me. Maybe we'll see a brand new way that women have been bastardized by the male hand. Are you ready to lose your faith in the written word?

I know I am. Okay, this is a long one. Frankie Cash punched the phone off. Punched the phone off? I know I'm not supposed to be taking it literally. I'm sure she just, like, pressed off, but, like... punched the phone off? ...and in a single motion, rolled out of bed. By sleeping nude, she made sure there was no delay between bed and shower, and the blast of hot water directly in her face cleared her brain. She's obviously just being efficient, guys!

That's why she sleeps nude. Sixty seconds later, she was out... You can't clean anything in 60s. This is how you know a man wrote it. These men out there, they're not washing their [censored]. And washing your [censored] takes 60s. Actually, maybe you don't need a full 60s. I don't know, I've never timed it. She does everything very violently... Whipping herself dry with a rough towel, followed by a fast brushing of hair and teeth.

Never ceasing to move, she yanked... That's another hard word. ...from a chair. A light blue silk blouse. Okay, this is getting to be really boring. But also, her yanking something from a blouse is her moving? I'm just... You know what? Whatever. She stared for a moment into her face as she smacked her lips together. God, were those really new wrinkles around her eyes? She stuck her tongue out at herself. [censored] off with the worrying about weight, age, wrinkles and [censores], and do your job.

She's not like a regular woman because she doesn't worry about wrinkles, weight and what else? Age and [censored]. She doesn't worry about those things. She's not a regular woman. She's a cool woman. I mean, like, in the writer's defense, I guess he tried. I think I'm being too polite. I think he was trying to write like a tough, independent woman instead just created... Oh my gosh, I just smacked myself in the face with sparkling eyes.

I think he was trying to create a independent woman, and he just regurgitated a bunch of cliches like, we're all super transfixed on our wrinkles and [censored]. I definitely seen worse than this, but it's not good. She was as tall as any man could ask for. What? Could ask for? From my experience as a five foot nine women... Women? As a five foot nine women... foot nine woman, men usually want short girls. It’s a big pedophilia thing going on right now, guys.

I'm sorry. Guys seem to like it when women are itty bitty and look as youthful and childlike as possible. It's really gross. I shouldn't be going into that here... Her breasts, hidden by her chaste dress, were perky, tantalizing people wherever she went. [laughter] I'm sorry, but if they're hidden by a chaste dress, how would he know they're perky? Her long legs were admired by just as many men, even called art by some.

Notice how he is only talking about her in reference to how men view her appearance. You could make it very clear that she is beautiful and delightful and amazing to look at, without making it all about how men view her and how her appearance benefits men, you know? There's a way to do it. Her waist was so thin that one could wrap their hands around it and almost touch their fingers together. I need you to see this, okay?

And I know he said almost, but that's like this. You know what? This is like... See how my thumbs overlap? That's my neck. So her waist is a little bit bigger than a neck. Come on guys. Any man could have done this and said, oh this is ridiculous. I mean, like, a little kid could have a waste like this. See, sometimes these guys are telling on themselves in the writing. You just wrote a child... with perky breasts and legs that are called art by some.

She had begun to think he might be short. That would be awful. Brenda was only five feet five, but it was a height she knew well. From the time she was ten years old, she had been 130 pounds, five-five, and wholly equipped with the same size bra as now, C cup. See what I mean? They're telling on themselves. He is sexualizing her when she's ten years old. I am kind of scandalized, even though I've seen a lot of really [censored] descriptions of women by men, but I haven't seen a lot that are so openly [censored].

He's talking about her being ten years old and having C cup boobs. Now, I'm not saying that's impossible because we know girls go through puberty. When I was in middle school, there were girls in my class who were fully developed, you know? But this is a grown man sitting here talking about how she's had the same womanly body since she was ten. That probably isn't relevant to the story. He just needs readers to know this.

He could have literally just said she's five foot five, 130 pounds and has a C cup. And even that would be too much because why do we need to know her cup size and her exact weight? You know what I mean? You could have just said she's five-five, slender and leave it at that really. This is gross! People are [censored] disgusting. I wish that I could be funny about this, but that actually, like, skeevy me out. What the [censored]?

I just saw one line of this, and I'm... Okay. Sorry. I have to lean in because this one's really... Oh, wait. I can zoom in. There we go. Oh, I zoomed in too far. Evans cried out, and she said, my name is Virgin. Out in the bar. The jukebox again struck up “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’,” and the naked Virgin began to move. That's a sentence. “I’m horny tonight, so horny, so horny,” she wailed. James couldn't feel his hands, feet, lips or tongue.

Standing less than one meter from his face she danced for a minute to the music, then sat on the bed, parted wide her knees, and inserted her cigarette’s filter tip between the lips of her vagina and puffed away, blowing smoke from her crotch, while the jukebox in the next room played “Satisfaction” by the Rolling Stones. Nothing, I have nothing. That's not possible. Right? Did she just have, like, a queef built up in there and was, like, able to push it out of the cigarette?

I'm just befuddled. Her vagina is blowing smoke. I don't think I can do this video. I don't think I could do this. Like, what the... Oh my gosh, who wrote this? Dennis Johnson. Dennis Johnson, straight to jail. There’s no part that is, that's redeemable. Her name is Virgin. She's a naked virgin. She's screaming “I'm horny tonight, so horny, so...” What is happening? Oh, this video is gonna get demonetized so fast. Okay, let's just move on.

I can, I can handle this. Deety was staring at the corpse and did not look happy. Her nipples were down flat. You know, guys, whenever I'm unhappy, my nipples just flatten, okay? They go flaccid like little, little sad ding dongs. Go take a bath, I told her. Scram. Do I stink that badly? You stink swell, honey girl. What? You what? Okay. “All right.” Deety backed off and her nipples showed faintly, not rigid, but she was feeling better.

That's great, guys, that's so good. I'm so glad Deety is feeling better. My darling keeps her feelings out of her face, mostly. But those pretty pink spigots are barometers of her morale. Spigots? He called her nipples spigots. I'm going to need a drink after this. Those pretty pink spigots... You guys, I have the same affliction. When I'm feeling upset, it's never on my face. You'll never know. But these nips, these pretty pink spigots, they just go crazy, you know?

They're pointing that way. They point this way, this way... But this is what I'm talking about, they give more agency to their boobs than to the women themselves. They're just so fixated on the titty tatters. What is it with the titty tatters? I mean, I shouldn't ask. We all know what it is. Boobs are beautiful. I'm a woman who's not attracted to other women. And even I know boobs are beautiful. I get it, I get it, but, like, control yourselves, ok?

Spigots. That was the word he chose and it got published. I just, you know what? Whatever. This world is a wasteland. She said, I can still feel you within me. Your seed still so hot inside me, burning. I'll take it to bed with me, curl myself around the heat of your seed, and it'll be like a watch fire through the night, keeping the bad dreams away. No graveyards tonight, Slim. No, not tonight. Isn't that romantic, guys?

Don't you just love it when a guy shoots his load inside of you? And then you just suck it all up in there, and then you go to bed, and it's like you've got a little hot water bottle inside of you just keeping you warm at night. Isn't that lovely? This is romance, guys. I don't know why anyone would complain about this. This is just romance and a woman enjoying a man's hot seed. Aaaa Oh my gosh. This is by Dean Koontz.

That was my sister's favorite author when we were in high school. These are like just some obscure random writers. These are big time writers. These are famous authors getting away with this [censored], and we just let them. We're just like, you know what? Sure, Slim Seed is all up in her, Slim’s seed is all up in her, and she's just gonna nestle around his baby batter, and it’s gonna keep her warm at night. That's literature guys!

I don't know why I decided to make this video. Costa saw the vessel behind her as a shining shadow that duplicated the graceful curves of her face and neck. Even her upper body, with her athletic breasts flattened by the heavy chain mail, resembled the youthful male figure in the sculpture. There could be no doubt that both Joffik and his niece were descended from a creature very much like the one depicted on the vessel.

Is he describing how his niece's boobs are flattened? Is that what's happening here? This isn't the worst one we've read today, but I have nieces and never once... I mean, granted, they don't have boobs. They're very, very young. But this is not something I'd be paying attention to if they did. We're once again telling on ourselves. Athletic breasts... Does that just mean she has pecs? What are athletic breasts? I don't know, I’m very confused here.

Oh, no, this is... this is a... this is a corpse. This is a dead woman. No sign of a struggle. Her bright blue eyes are still wide open, as though shocked by the last thing that they saw. And from the color and condition of her skin, she has not been here long. The corpse is fully clothed... Thank God! Everything this woman was wearing looks expensive: a woolen coat, a silky looking blouse and a black leather skirt. Her shoes appear to be the only thing missing.

Not ideal for walking in the woods. Wow, you're a genius. It's impossible not to notice her small, pretty feet. There we go. It was only a matter of time. But it's the blouse I find myself staring at. Like the lace bra underneath, I can see that it used to be white. What the [censored] is happening? So gross. He's staring at a dead body and he's like, but look at those feet. Gotta put them up on Only [censored]. This is my fault because I made this video.

I don't know what to say at this point. I haven't been around many dead bodies in my life. I think I've only been around one. But I've never been compelled to look at their feet, and I don't think that is what I would notice if I was around a dead bo... ...body. I would be like, Holy [censored]! There's a dead body. But you know what? We gotta objectify the pretty little dead corpse, don't we? It's our job. All right.

New guy's a weirdo, huh? Rachel said out loud, not holding back her rudeness. That's how I feel about every man that we have featured in this video so far. They're all [censored] weirdos. Staring directly at me, saying it like one of those college girls. I'm hot and cool and don't give a [censored], but was probably molested at some point in my teenage years, so I'm always in defense mode and attack others before they can attack me first.

That kind of chick, you know the type. She says five words. New guy's a weirdo, huh? And he has this whole essay backstory for her. He's like, oh, she thinks she's hot [censored], but she was molested. What? A woman can't even have an opinion without it being like, oh, she must have been molested at some point. Oh... You know what? Oh my God. Should we do a few more? I don't know, I kind of feel like I've had enough.

You know what? Let's just do... Let's just do a couple more. Don't [censored] with me, Eric. I'm two cameramen short, and I've got menstrual cramps that would drop a grizzly. Honestly, I kind of like this one. This is written by Steve Alten. And, Steve, I like this one. I've got menstrual cramps that would drop a grizzly. Don't [censored] with me, Eric! I like this. This is my favorite one so far. I think more women should say this.

I'm two cameramen short. At first I thought that was her height, that she's the height of two cameramen. And I'm like, that's pretty [censored] tall. You're the height of two men. And then I realized she's probably like a director or something, and she's missing two cameramen. And my brain started functioning. But she's got menstrual cramps that would drop a grizzly. And you know what? More power to her. Whoever she is.

I like her. And I think we should all be like this woman and start telling those guys “I've got cramps that would drop a grizzly.” Steve Alten, you done good. I feel weird saying that because he's probably written some insane [censored], and it's like, I'm just seeing, like, the one thing that that I'm okay with, I don't know. Hey, baby. It's happening. I'm ovulating right now. I felt the tingling of my egg coming out.

Oh, my God, I've seen this one before, and it's just absolutely insane. These are the men who are making decisions about what women can do with their body. They are in the government saying women can't do this with their body because when they're when their their eight comes out, they tingle, they get the tingles. And you know, that's why they can't do, that's why they can't go to gynecologist. And I know what I'm talking about because I'm a man.

But the most obvious change to Felicia's body, from the woman who had let me join her in the shower, was a full inch of waistline added from a burgeoning uterus filled with my bountiful overnight deposits. Imagining those seeds making way into her fallopian tubes, seeking that most precious treasure of eggs and bringing them to life within her flooded womb, I felt myself stiffen once more. Okay, we're just going to overlook the fact that none of this is anatomically correct.

But he is hard at the idea of impregnating her. Like, that turns him on. The idea of her having a baby. That's weird. But also the full inch of waistline from her burgeoning uterus filled with his Bountiful overnight deposits... Is this a bank? Is she a bank? Overnight deposits? Honestly, that sounds like a funny way to say you had the [censored] all night. Like, oh gosh, I ate all that Mexican food, I ate all that unregulated lettuce.

And I had to make a lot of overnight deposits. Her arm grew tingly from the exertion... Back with the tingles, guys. ...of holding aloft the too small phone. She flipped onto her stomach, the sheets warm from her body so the transitive warmth against her vulva was that of her own body, and flopping around in the bed was an act of masturbation. She felt clean, ready to feel dirty. If only it was that easy, that we could just flip flop in bed.

And it's like, there, I had my orgasm because I just flip flopped in bed. Also, it's very strange to me that this man thinks that just making the vulva warm is like enough to make a woman come. This man can't find the clit. He doesn't know what the G-spot is or where it is. He probably thinks it's a cool club. I’m hanging out with my friends at the G-spot. At least he knows how to write. He knows something. He's literate.

So that's good. I'm going to stop here because this is getting depressing. There are so many more of these. So we will definitely have another video when I am ready to put myself through this again. So if you weren't aware about men writing women, now you are. And if you were mad at the beginning of this and felt like we were being unfair to these male authors writing women, I hope now you have gained some perspective.

I hope this helped you through your journey. I know that it helped me somehow. I don't know actually. I feel like my life is worse because I read this. So that's all I got for you today. If you need help writing your very own book and you don't want to write in any way like we just discussed, check out my writing craft books, How to Write Romantasy, as well as Shut Up and Write the book. They're available at all major retailers.

I have them linked below. If romantasy is more your vibe, check out The Savior's Champion, The Savior’s Sister and The Savior's Army, and the fourth book for The Savior's Series is on its way. They're also available on Kindle Unlimited. I have them linked below. And don’t forget to subscribe to my channel. I post new videos on Wednesdays. Sometimes we talk about terrible writing and I feel like dying at the end of it.

I also host live streams on Mondays, and if you want to be alerted as soon as I upload, ring that bell. Bye