I finally outgrew the character that made my career | Jaleel White transcript

- Let's roll all around if we haven’t. You can have a seat there. - How are you doing brother man? - This show is called The Me I Used To Be. It's about looking back at your life. - Oh my gosh. - Not just what happened, but how those moments shaped you. And what you believe about the world, about people and about yourself. And all we want is your honest take on what you were thinking back then, how you were feeling back then, what these images meant to you.

How you see it now. And why. You ready? - Yeah. - Let's cue our act one reel. - I was raised in Los Angeles, California. My dad was a bus driver in Los Angeles for many, many years. I have very vivid memories of my mom taking me as a toddler and putting me on my dad's bus route, and I would sit behind my father while he drove. I was very, very proud to talk to all the strangers, to let them know my dad is the bus driver.

My mom worked at the post office. She could always vanish from her job, take me on a commercial and get back to her job without getting fired. I got into acting as a kid to make money to go to college. That was my mother's number one goal and priority. I did approximately 50 national commercials. Oreo cookie, Apple Jacks, Pepsi, you name it. I did so many of them. I still know the song. But as a black kid in 1989 and before, it was pretty much a foregone conclusion that you would be the best friend, you would have a line here or there, and the residuals would come in, and hey, Mom could use that to pay for some summer camps, and the rest goes to a trust.

The ambition wasn't that deep, but somehow, when it was time to perform for a group of people behind the camera, I was acutely attuned to how others were seeing my performance. You have to hear the audience yourself telling you how you should tweak who you are. Good timing. That's where all the people pleasing came from. - You've told this story a million times, - Uh-oh. - but if you can just tell the concise version of how you got into Family Matters, - Oh God. - our audience is going to want to hear it.

Oh, I know, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - I love the story. It's a beautiful story, but I want more — I think there's more context around this story. - You don't have to tell the story. - Agent found me, 12 years old. I go and audition for Family Matters. I land the gig, it's only supposed to be for one week. I stay. Hi, Mr. Winslow. I'm Steve Urkel. - No idea when you started — who knew? You were a little kid — it would run this long. - Believe it or not, a real person does exist underneath that costume. - You know, when people are yelling, “Hey, Urkel!” and stuff like that. - It was a balancing act for me that I may look as natural as possible, but it's uncomfortable, if you're in a public space and somebody comes up to you almost like a coin operated machine, and go ahead and say it.

It's like, I'm actually on a date right now. Yeah. Say it. I obliged that request a lot, actually. - Good evening, Miss Arthur. - Good evening, Mr. White. - Crank out the music. It's time to do the Urkel. You do come to realize that you are living off the validation of others, right? External validation is becoming your motivating factor to just get through a day. Yeah. Wow. When you really look at it that way, I'm sure being a people pleaser probably affected how I dealt with rejection.

And I did not like dealing with rejection. When I look at the Keenen Ivory Wayans interview, I was very much looking forward to making my own decisions. - Tonight, you’re making a statement tonight. - What statement am I making? - Well, this is the real you. - For the first time, I want to be a free agent in my life at the end of this season. I won't be under any contract. My parents will make the decision. I'll make the decision, as to what I want to do.

So I'm really kind of excited. But really, if my mom told me to do something, that's what I was going to do. I was faking taking the reins. I got an opportunity after two years in school as a writing EP with my own show. That was such a rare opportunity to show people the different sides of me. And instead of immersing all of myself in that opportunity, my mother leaned on me hard to not drop out of college. I played the one foot in, one foot out.

Knowing what I know now. I was a one and done. It just pierces my heart because I just know what a missed opportunity that was. After Grown Ups got canceled, it was definitely a lonely period for me. I definitely became far more reclusive than I am naturally. Far more reclusive. And I found a lot of projects that I ultimately did take. But I just felt lost and not aligned with my purpose in the business. My identity still rested too much in the business. - So how did you evolve beyond that frame of mind? - Oh my gosh.

The job was called Mega Shark Versus Crocosaurus. I was going through a lot as a father, a single father at that time. So it just meant making a living. And perhaps a more decorated actor for their awards would be ashamed of doing that. And I'm like, oh no, no, no, no, no. No, that that job helped me keep up medical benefits that year, that job helped me keep paying to fight for my daughter. - The thing that I love so much about you is you're such a girl dad.

You are such a great father to your daughter, Samaya. - My daughter was a huge driving force in changing my perspectives. I came to the conclusion that I work, I just, I work, I work steady. I'm fortunate in my life that I've always worked steady. Have I always worked on the dream projects that I always imagined? You know? Not necessarily. But I've worked. And so now that I don't necessarily see my work as my identity, I'm just grateful, motivated, and thrilled that I get to keep working.

My daughter just, she cleaned all that stuff up for me. I can't let her down. That’s it. Can't stop, won't stop. Can't let her down. When you're young, you don't understand the many steps that add up over time. Old Jaleel was impatient. The new Jaleel understands that what goes up fast comes down fast. What's built slowly over time, has a better chance of being indestructible.