Rachel Wilson CHALLENGES Feminist on the Patriarchy... transcript

No, I would not consider myself a feminist. >> Why is why is that? >> Um because I think that patriarchy is the natural order of things and it's inescapable. And if you want to try to be a feminist, you're going to have a really hard time because it's simply not actually possible for us to have anything besides a patriarchy. And we can get into why that is if anybody wants to. >> Does anybody have any qualms with >> Can you define patriarchy for those that don't know?

Yeah, patriarchy literally just means rule by the father. >> Awesome. >> So it just generally means men are the rulers and organizers in the home, in society, in the church, in the government. >> And this has implica- I mean, we're dating talk show, but this absolutely has implications when it comes to dating, gender roles, that sort of thing. Uh someone who's a bit more feminist may might prefer a bit more of an egalitarian relationship, 50/50, that sort of thing.

Uh so or at least that's what it would appear to be. Uh so she's for patriarchy. Hot take from Rachel here. Does anybody here object to Rachel's position? >> So I don't know if I object, but I want to bring up a point. Um does everybody know who Lilith is? >> Yes, she's in my book. >> How Lilith [laughter] is? How do you feel about period? How do you feel about her? >> Lilith? >> Uh she's a demon, so >> She's one of >> she's a vengeful goddess figure.

Uh feminists love her. She tends to be a feminist icon because she takes vengeance on men. She uh sometimes uh SAs them in their sleep and then murders their babies, the offspring. Yeah, yeah. >> Is this like uh know Diablo 4 just Is it Diablo 4? Is that the one from >> Diablo. >> Diablo? >> Yeah. >> The game? >> Yes. >> Yeah. Um >> She's kind of hot like hot, not going to lie. >> Yeah, she bites men's heads off pretty much, so. >> Yeah, they're always hot. >> But basically the idea behind her I guess was that she was the first I like the story about her. >> Mhm. >> Um but now it's funny Let me just say this.

She was there before Eve. It was Adam and Lilith. She's made out of the same stuff as Adam. And she was like, "Why do I have to submit to you if we're made out of the same stuff?" And then she left the Garden of Eden. >> Yeah, she would not get underneath Adam. >> Yeah. >> And so she flew off into the sky and then down into the ocean and they tried to bring her back and there's like a whole lore behind it. Um They think that the legend was actually like post-Christianity more of a like first few centuries after Christianity Judaism type of a a lore where it came from, but um depends how you feel about that.

But why do you think that she's cool? Like what do you like about her? >> in my I'll say this. One, I have a song called Lilith. It's actually um there's a whole music video and everything. But I actually do feel different about it now. I'm kind of going through this phase where I was in my toxic relationship and I was in a stage of where I wanted to free myself and like I understood that like why am I submitting to someone that I don't feel um is a leader.

I'll say that. But now that I think about it, it's like there are men that are leaders and if you put yourself in that position it's a different woman. But the woman that I felt that I related to was her because I was in a situation where I'm like I shouldn't submit to this man. >> What Why did you not want to submit to that guy? What was it about him? >> He didn't feel like um I didn't respect him enough. >> Why? >> Um because he was almost like full of air.

I'll give you that where it's like he felt as though he was more respectable than he actually was. >> So, do you feel like he wasn't responsible or he didn't have his stuff together or like >> That, um, just kind of flying off the rails all the time. >> Oh, not in control of his emotions. Yeah. >> That's a that'll dry your panties up quick. >> Very much so. I said, um, >> [laughter] >> I'm going to leave this garden.

Yeah. >> Yeah. >> So, I felt that. >> Because why? That's like female energy, right? A guy who is not in control of his emotions and he's up and down and all over the place, kind of like we are. >> Right. >> It's not a good look. >> of the same stuff. >> Right. >> So. >> Right. Yeah. So. It's why we say no simping, boys. Don't do it. >> Hello. >> Let me ask this question from a, I guess, a dating lens. So, would you I think most of you identified as feminist, if I recall. >> 50/50. >> 50/50, I think you said yes, yes, I think no. >> No. >> No?

Okay. And then yes for you, too. Would you date a guy who is not a feminist, starting with you? >> Yeah. >> Wait, into mic, please. >> Sorry. Um, yes. On Just hearing like the definitions that you guys have for it is like making me think of it differently cuz the definition that I had was literally just I just don't want to conform to having to listen to somebody that is not going to listen to me or like like allowing somebody to lead that isn't actually a leader, but just feels like they're a leader, you know, like I want to still make my own decisions and stuff like that and have like a brain of my own and not be like a brainless >> Close it. >> bimbo.

Like, that's that's what I was thinking it was, but >> Okay. So, what made you feel like it's a different definition? Like, why do you feel like that might be different now? >> Um, well, I do understand that um men are leaders. Like I have a really healthy relationship with my father. That's my best friend. Um and then just the like the things that I've been through, just putting it into perspective like is that's not somebody that I would want to allow to lead me.

But if I found somebody that was a leader, then I would allow them to >> Wait, did you say your dad is not somebody who or he is somebody >> is. I'm saying just like the things that I've been through and um like relationships and stuff like if I found somebody that was actually a leader, then I would like >> So, what kind of qualities? Like what would you be looking for in somebody who you felt was worth like submitting to? >> Um is someone that would be able to like take care of me in the aspects of emotionally um and take care of things like like rent and stuff like that and not feel like they want to go 50/50 with me.

I'm not into that at all. >> So, this is a common thing I've seen and I want to ask you guys do you guys think that what you want would you say what you want is you want you want the man to lead when it comes to doing difficult, dangerous, dirty things, paying bills, dealing with really awful situations, then he can lead. But if you're just in your feelings about something, you just want to do what you want to do, then you don't want him to lead cuz I feel like that's a really common thing. >> Okay.

Well, I feel like see, for me like I'm I'm a singer, so I'm always out like I'm networking and stuff like that, so I feel like I just have to be with somebody that would also be okay with me being out a lot and stuff like that. Like and just supporting the things that I want to do. >> So, if you had a future partner that asked you to give up your singing and like raise your children, would you not do that? >> I mean, I will still raise my children, but I wouldn't give up what I love to do for anybody. >> Okay.

Could you still sing though and not be trying to like necessarily make money in it? Like could you sing for yourself, for your family, you could sing at church, you could sing on Instagram, but maybe not be out at clubs networking all the time because you're at home with your kids. >> I feel like when I really make a name for myself, I wouldn't have to really network like that all the time, but I feel like um it's just certain things that I'm just not willing to budge on.

I just feel like my life is still going to be my life and I'm going to take care of the things that I'm supposed to take care of, but like if my partner doesn't want me to do something that I love, then I feel like that's not the person for me. >> So, do you not believe in like sacrificing in a relationship or or anything like that? Like do you feel that you the person that you meet How do I phrase this? Um are you selfishly driven?

Like do you Is it everything that you care about has to come first or would you sacrifice in a relationship? >> Um it just depends on what is being sacrificed because I understand that in a relationship there is a lot of give and take on both ends. So, but for me it's just when it comes to something that genuinely makes me happy and stuff like that, like there's going to be late nights where I'm in the studio and you're probably not even going to believe where I am or whatever stuff like that, like that happens and I just feel like I'm just not going I'm not going to budge on certain things. >> So, you just told us a a whole kind of story about what your life's been like so far and what your relationships have been like so far and it's been super volatile.

You've had Would you say it's correct to say that you've had like no stability, no sense of peace, predictability, calm, like uh s- continuous like uh predictability in your relationships? It's been very all over the place. >> Yeah, pretty much. Um I feel like the only real good relationship that I did have was um my ex that passed away. So, and I was I feel like I was able to submit to him in ways like like he took care of me emotionally very well and stuff like that.

But we were young, like really young. There was no way that we could take care of each other in any other way and stuff like that. We couldn't see each other all the time and things like that, either. Like we're both in school. So. >> So, you realize that if you get the kind of guy you're saying you want, the kind of man who is going to create stability and continuity in your life, predictability, he's going to handle the business, he's going to pay the bills, he's going to make sure there aren't people coming in because you seem like a very sensitive and kind of emotional type of person, which is fine.

You're a woman. It's There's reasons that we're like that. If you're If you're going to be a mother, that's a good quality. But that's why you need a man who is like strong, steady, stable, >> Mhm. >> and going to provide the stability. You realize he can't do that if you're going to say to him, "I just feel like I need to be able to do what I feel like's going to make me happy." If you are chasing that, you're never going to have that stability and that continuity that you've been looking for, right?