Why It Sucks To Be a Green Lantern transcript

You slip into life on Earth. And would you look at that? You're a human and you don't know it yet, but you're not like everyone else. You've been born with the innate ability of incredible willpower. While that'll mostly be a problem for your parents when they try to feed you vegetables when you're a toddler, it'll also be the reason why one day you'll become a Green Lantern, protector of the universe, wielder of one of the most powerful weapons ever created, and servant to an ancient race of immortals who view your species as barely evolved primates.

One day when you're in your early 20s, on the opposite side of the universe, a Green Lantern dies. The Green ring he's wearing floats off his finger and flies across the universe looking for its replacement. That's you. This ring was created by the Guardians of the Universe billions of years ago. A super sophisticated race of aliens who have been keeping the Green Lanterns going ever since. And this is how they recruit new members.

The ring does all the work. And because of that incredible willpower of yours, it's chosen you as the next Green Lantern to join the ranks. To meet the selection criteria, you need two things. You must have the ability to overcome great fear and possess tremendous willpower. Green Lanterns are selected from every living being across the entirety of creation. That means you're not just brave by Earth standards, but one of the bravest beings in the whole universe.

Sometimes people can train to become part of the Green Lanterns, but the vast majority are conscripted by the rings themselves. You have no choice in the matter. Within minutes of receiving your ring, you're transported to OA, the headquarters of the Green Lantern CP. Too bad if you had plans for drinks after work. OA is one of the oldest planets in the galaxy, and it is almost completely barren, except for the city of the Guardians.

This is a massive metropolis with buildings stretching miles into the sky and it's where you'll spend a lot of your life from now on. The atmosphere requires ring generated protection for your human physiology as its composition of noble gases and a high concentrations of ionized particles would dissolve your lungs in moments. You're immediately drafted into training whether you like it or not. You are under the thumb of an instructor called Killilawog, a massive alien made mostly of muscle who would drill you within an inch of your life for the next few months.

In fact, Green Lantern training is so brutal that most new recruits give up their ring and head home before you get a chance to create anything with your new shiny ring. You are forced to do hikes around the galaxy on no food. brutal manual labor like carrying entire buildings across deserts and spending entire nights studying complex computational science that will power your ring. For you, it feels brutal. But for the Guardians of the Universe, the bosses of the Greenlanding Core, it makes perfect sense.

Everything here is filled by willpower. Even the central battery of OA, a massive construct built billions of years ago by the Guardians of the Universe. The central power battery is the source of all power for the Green Lanterns. Anytime you fly or create a construct or carry massive weight, that's all thanks to the central power battery. Considering the immense importance of the battery, it almost becomes a religious object for the Green Lanterns and the Guardians of the Universe who will do almost anything to protect it.

That's why willpower is so important in the training and why the training is designed to break you. If you don't have the willpower to pass Kilawog's drills, how will you have the willpower to protect the factory? Finally, you get through training and you are almost ready to get out there as an official Green Lantern for real. However, before you do that, you got to get to grips with the ring around your finger, which may as well be the most sophisticated piece of technology in the universe.

Each Green Lantern ring contains quantum computational capabilities, exceeding Earth's combined computing power billions of times over. The rings are directly connected to the emotional electromagnetic spectrum, specifically to the green wavelength of willpower, one of the seven fundamental forces discovered by the Guardians that predate the universe itself. Training teaches you that emotions aren't just something you feel, but are actual energy sources.

Green corresponds to willpower, and you start to wonder what the other colors might mean. While Kilawog and the Guardians are secretive about the existence of other lantern cores, they definitely tell you about the Sinestro core. These guys are just like you, only instead of being fueled by willpower, they're powered by fear. Their yellow fear is the exact opposite of your green willpower, meaning you're both each other's biggest weakness.

These guys are the arch enemy of the Green Lantern core and are also their biggest threat. If a Green Lantern feels fear when they're out saving the world, then their powers fail, making them completely helpless. That means the Sinestro core, led by a guy called Sinestro, are the biggest danger to you, and you're taught to be wary of them from the very beginning. After some time, you get the hang of your ring and realize just how powerful it is.

You can use your willpower to project almost anything into existence right in front of you. Usually, new recruits summon things like giant gatling guns as an offensive weapon, but more experienced Green Lanterns usually rely on precise geometric shapes that can act as both offense and defense. The ring can also save these configurations to its memory, offer itself as a mini encyclopedia of the universe and analyze any new species the lanterns come across.

Most importantly of all, the ring stores the 10 most important laws that govern the Green Lantern core. These laws stored in a massive book called the book of OA can only be read by the Green Lanterns and it governs everything you do. The first law establishes your primary duty, the protection of life and liberty within your assigned sector. This was created following the Sinestro core war, a massive conflict with the Sinestro Core in the recent past.

This law was controversially amended to permit lethal force against yellow ring bearers, the first such modification in millions of years. The second law demands unquestioning obedience to guardian orders. Some don't like how that makes this a bit of a dictatorship, but it's hard to deny that the Green Lanterns have kind of thrived under the guidance of the Guardians. So, we'll let them get away with that. The third law prohibits interference with a planet's culture or political structure, regardless of your personal moral judgments.

A restriction that human lanterns find particularly challenging. If a planet wants to turn into a bloody dictatorship, you're not allowed to intervene. The fourth law requires you to operate within local legal frameworks unless you're given express permission from the Guardians. That kind of makes it seem like the whole don't interfere with the laws of other planets thing might be a little bit more flexible than it first appears.

But I digress. The fifth law demands restraint. No physical action against any being until they have proven threats against life. With the amount of power Green Lantern has, this is probably the most violated law by far. The sixth law forbids using core resources for personal gain. A rule that also extends to using ring energy for trivial matters. The energy monitoring sub routines in your ring. Record every construct you create, flagging patterns that suggest personal use for review by the alpha lanterns.

So no, you can't build intergalactic roller coasters for profit. Law 7 mandates respect for fellow core members and the guardians despite the vastly different physiologies and cultures among their incredibly diverse ranks. The eighth law reinforces restraint of force, requiring you to exhaust all reasonable alternatives before escalating to violence, which again feels a little redundant. They probably could have worked this one into number four.

Anyways, the ninth law is about your prioritization protocol. That means that the greatest danger in your sector must receive your immediate attention regardless of any personal attachments or ongoing missions. And finally, the 10th law, upholding the honor of the core. This catch all law has been used to discipline lanterns for everything from public intoxication to questioning guardian wisdom. The core integrity division maintains watchful surveillance for any action that might tarnish the core's reputation across the 3,600 sectors.

After learning all the laws, passing training, and mastering the use of your ring, you finally get to meet your new bosses, the Guardians of the Universe. Evolving from one of the oldest races in creation, the Multusians. These 3 and 1/2 ft tall blue immortals engineered themselves to be emotionless, believing passion leads to chaos. They live for millions of years and have no time for rebels. You obey or else. They assign you to your sector, wish you good luck, and pair you up with another Green Lantern as a partner.

However, before you get started, they issue a stern warning. If you mess up, they'll send the alpha lanterns after you. You're told later that the Alpha lanterns are Green Lanterns who have fused themselves with the central power battery itself, becoming part living being, part robot. These are brutal fanatics who destroy even the slightest corruption in the lantern ranks and they can possess your ring at any moment's notice if they want to.

Essentially, they're like Green Lantern HR. If HR was very okay with killing people. Finally, you must recite the oath. Words that will define your existence from this moment forward. In brightest day, in blackest night, no evil shall escape my sight. Let those who worship evil's might beware my power. Green Lantern's Light. This oath originated at the beginning of the lantern's founding and must be spoken when charging your ring at a power battery.

A process you'll need to repeat every 24 standard hours or risk complete power failure in potentially lethal situations. Congratulations, you're one of 7,200 Green Lanterns, two assigned to each of the 3600 sectors in the universe. The core's roster includes members from thousands of species, many of whom view humans as primitive. In fact, your partner called Zeob is a being of pure energy. Core protocol mandates that partners must learn to coexist despite physiological incompatibilities.

You're not even sure how to shake this thing's hand, but it seems nice, and it also wears the ring, so it's your partner now, whether you like it or not. Free time on O introduces you to the bizarre cultural practices of your fellow officers. The insecttoid lanterns perform the 7-day ritual of communion in which they methodically consume the shed exoskeletons of their ancestors. The gaseous lanterns communicate through complex chemical exchanges that smell like rotting flesh.

And the crystalline entities from sector 7 conduct what they call resonant harmonization, which to your ears sound like glass breaking for 14 hours straight. Meal periods are equally challenging. The cork commissioner operated by siliconbased life forms prepares food considered edible by the majority of species. for you. This means a steady diet of nutrient pace tailored to human biochemistry, but engineered for maximum efficiency rather than taste.

But despite all of that, you do like the job of being a Green Lantern. You and Zebob patrol your given sector and get to save the day every day. That means taking down murderous warlords, reconstructing cities ruined by natural disasters, or helping old ladies cross the road. You figured being a Green Lantern would mean confronting worldending threats every day. And that does happen, but you're surprised by how often you end up saving kittens from trees, too.

You get to fly in space, see alien planets, and hang out with your new best energy based buddy. Though, not everything's peachy, and dating becomes nearly impossible, especially if you're restricting yourself to only humans. Relationships strain under the weight of secrecy and absence because you're not really meant to tell anyone that you're Green Lantern. So, while your partner might be chatting about how their boss was a little bit annoying today, you can't talk about the meteor that you just punched in half to save a billion-year-old civilization.

In fact, most human green lanterns and relationships almost inevitably end up divorcing because of their dual lives. Some lanterns date within the core itself. Interecies relationships, while not prohibited under core regulation, often present unique challenges. Because of the vastly different biology, many interspecies relationships might be fatal without the protection of the Green Lantern ring. You know that your ring stores all your bio data, too.

And sometimes you wonder whether the Guardians of the Universe or the Alpha Lanterns get a kick out of seeing when you've been a little too intimate. Now, in your late 20s, you fall in love with a fellow lantern from planet Cory. Against all odds and biology through advanced genetic engineering available in the medical world of Orthax, you've managed to conceive a child. Your child doesn't inherit any cool powers, but they do inherit a massive target on their back.

Family members of lanterns are often abducted, tortured, or killed by enemies seeking revenge. The guardians of the universe do allow for relocation to secure facilities on fortified worlds, but at the cost of anything resembling a normal childhood. One day, your ring interrupts you during dinner to inform you of a supernova threatening a populated system 500 light years away. Your child hasn't seen you in weeks. Your partner understands, but grows increasingly distant.

The guardians of the universe are no longer helped because they don't think a relationship is important. Anyways, it's rare to see any Green Lantern having a functioning private life, and it doesn't look like yours is going to be any different. A big reason for that is, put bluntly, the life expectancy of a Green Lantern doesn't look good. Even though you're one of the most powerful beings in the universe, you still have natural enemies in the Sinestro core who wield yellow power rings fueled by fear itself.

The red lanterns whose rings are powered by rage. The orange lanterns who are fueled by greed for all the knowledge and the power the Green Lanterns have. And of course, the Black Lanterns. The Black Lanterns are even worse than the Sinestro core. These guys are powered by death and have the power to reanimate corpses who feed on the emotions of other people. Led by Blackhand and their god-like figure Necron, the Black Lanterns are a constant universal threat and have almost extinguished all life on multiple occasions.

If they get their hands on you, they'll not only kill you, but use your body as a puppet to kill everyone else. 20 years into your service, your body bears the scars of countless battles, thirdderee burns from plasma rifles, nerve damage from apocalyptian torture devices, and radiation poisoning from containing ruptured reactor cores. Your ring's healing protocols have kept you alive. But Core Medical has documented accelerated cellular degradation, equivalent to someone twice your age.

Sometimes you wonder if you drop dead if you took the ring off. You're now a veteran of the Green Lantern Corps and develop unique combat techniques to help with almost any emergency. You're able to manipulate quantum fields to create gravitational singularities, disrupt the brain chemistry of your enemies, produce temporal status fields, project in multiple dimensions, and even construct sentient programs and entities to help you in the fight.

The nature of the ring's ability to create almost anything means that every lantern eventually adopts a signature style and you've found yours. After many decades of loyal service, destroying your body and personal life in the line of duty, you qualify for voluntary retirement. If you do want to retire, you have to present yourself to the Guardians of the Universe. Plead your case by outlining every achievement you've made with the core.

Surrender the ring back to the central power battery and be sent back to your home planet. never to return. However, this is really hard for most Green Lanterns. In fact, the vast majority of Green Lanterns die in service rather than having a voluntary retirement. Not only is it culturally strange to surrender your ring, but the psychological weight of giving up all that power is often too much, even for a group of people defined by the incredible willpower.

Even still, if you retire, the Guardians of the Universe will keep tabs on you as your brain readapts to normal human physiology. You'll feel yourself become less intelligent, less sharp, and just a little bit sad when you think of the time when you could just fly around in space without a care in the world. So, you choose not to retire. Instead, continuing to work for as long as you can. The idea of retirement feels like giving up.

And for a being defined by their willpower, that's not something they know how to do. Now as an old lantern on a perfectly normal patrol, you get a call about a half of a small nearby planet collapsing because of radioactive energy from a failed science experiment. You arrive at the scene and try to fix a reactor, but it's beyond your comprehension. Even as a tired old man who's seen everything you have, it's still too foreign to you.

You call for your partner to come help, but they're on the other side of the sector, and it's going to take them too long to get there. There's not enough time. This place is about to blow. You expend all your energy creating bubbles, getting the massive civilian population to safety miles away as the ground beneath you bursts into radioactive flames. You get thousands of people to safety, but there's still thousands more behind.

When your partner eventually arrives, he finds the civilians safe, but there's no sign of you. As he gets closer, he sees that somehow the reactor has been contained. And out of the yellow flames, your ring hovers towards him. He stares for a moment before it shoots off into the sky, searching the universe for the next Green Lantern. Your body is taken back to OA, where you are laid to rest with honors in the crypts of the Green Lantern core.

This is where all Green Lanterns are intombed on their death, and it's a position of great honor. You're one of the millions of Green Lanterns who have died over the course of the core's existence. And despite all the good you did, they still probably won't remember you for very long. Then the ring that stood by you for so long finds the next Green Lantern and the whole cycle begins again.