this video will completely change your life in 30 days transcript

People don't fail because they lack goals. They fail because they never define what terrifies them. If you sit down with most people, they have goals. They have a vision of what it is that they want in their life to look like. But what they don't have is a very clear vision of what absolutely scares the out of them and terrifies them, keeps them up at night. And what I have personally found in my own life, if I look back at any periods that I had a lot of growth, it was always because I was running away from some level of pain.

I was absolutely terrified of something happening or me not living up to my potential. And I used that as much cleaner fuel to motivate me than just be very, very clear of what it is that I want and have the the power of visualization and have all these manifestations that people do. That stuff is very important, but I can tell you from speaking from personal experience that it's no way near as powerful as getting very, very clear of what's going to happen if you don't achieve all the things that it is that you want.

What will your life look like? How would it feel meeting the version of yourself that wasn't able to actually follow through and make all their dreams a reality? And sitting in that pain and that pain of regret of what that would feel like and how all the people that you love in your life would look at you. That has always motivated me infinitely more than attaining all the things that I wanted to attain. And the reason for that is that pain beats pleasure.

If you look at human beings, how the human psychology works, we are far more motivated by avoiding pain than we are than moving towards pleasure. It's like that old test that if you say to somebody, "Hey, you can do this task and get a $100." They're going to be somewhat motivated. If you say, "Unless you do this, I'm going to actually take away $100 from you." They're just infinitely more motivated by avoiding loss than they are about moving towards pleasure.

Just think about it in your own life. If someone was to come up to you and say, "Something really terrible's going to happen to you and the people that you love if you don't do X, Y, and Z." Or they say, "Hey, if you do X, Y, and Z, it's going to create this amazing new future for yourself." Which one's going to motivate you more? Either being real is going to be if there is some threat. Because whenever there is threat, whenever there is pain, it creates urgency.

So, what has worked very well for me in my life is first to get very, very clear on where it is that I want to go. What is it that I'm trying to achieve? And painting a very vivid picture of exactly what that is going to feel like. This is where most people stop. And that's on one axis. And then the other axis is what's going to happen if I don't achieve those things. What is my life going to look like? How is it going to feel?

How am I going to judge myself? And it's where those two meet, that intersection, is the thing that really motivates me more than anything. And this is something that I call dark motivation. And dark motivation is this pain source is a source of energy that burns very, very clean. It's very, very clear on what it is that you're trying to avoid. And then you start to look through the lens of like, if that's what I want to not happen, what are the things that I'm willing to do to make it unreasonable that I am not going to get there.

And sitting in that pain and thinking about it is something that most people try to avoid. They try to block out all of these kind of emotions from their mind and thinking about it when you can use that to your advantage. You can use that dark motivation as source to go out and achieve all the things that it is that you want. Think about yourself personally. Have you ever had a moment in your life where it's like that line in the sand moment, where you've gone through a breakup or something really terrible's happened to you and you're like, "Never again.

Like, never again am I going to allow myself to be put into this situation." And then you go through this period of time of like intense discipline or doing things that is just going to make it unreasonable for you to never be placed in this situation again. And if you have, what you'll realize is it's the moments that come after that that you experience the most growth. It is a hygiene standard that you absolutely refuse to fall below because people don't need more motivation.

I learned very early on in my life. I used to watch these motivational videos of like founders speaking on YouTube and all this stuff and I was running my life in a way that I needed motivation to wake up and do the things that I needed to do to become successful. It works when it works, but when it doesn't work, it doesn't work. So, instead what I realized that I needed to do was just have these moments that I would never ever repeat again.

And it might be to look at in business and in sales is like going through a situation where I had a lot riding on one deal and then that one deal doesn't come through and then you get down or you get emotional about the situation. So, I learned never ever have it so that there's one no that can derail your week or your month or your quarter. And so, when that becomes the standard of you going through that pain and you're like never again, then you just make sure that the pipeline is big and fat enough that no one deal is going to disrupt where it is that you want to go.

And just that action served me so much better than trying to rock up on a sales call and be motivated or to wake up and feel like, "Hey, I just want to get after it. I just want to do all of these things." Instead, is when you wake up and you don't feel like getting after it, you think about, "Okay, cool. Say I don't get after it today. What's the consequence? What's going to happen? What is it going to be like to meet the version of myself at the end of my life that would have been capable if they made all the hard decisions?" Because for me, the definition of hell is that I reach the end of my life and I meet this other Subry.

And that other Subry, he made all the hard decisions. He did all the work when he didn't feel like doing it. It's basically my potential. All the things that I could have achieved if I would have made all the right decisions. It's the difference between who I would be and that version of myself. That thing terrifies the living out of me. So, that when I make my decisions, I always try to make decisions that the future me would thank myself for.

And often times that's making the hard decisions. And that thought of that pain of meeting that version of myself is way more motivating than thinking about the version that I can be and then just trying to pull myself towards it. Because I have to drag myself kicking and screaming to do that. Where the other one is just the cleanest source of energy and it pulls me towards wanting to achieve those things cuz I'm just trying to avoid that pain.

And often times the real sources of motivation for people are things that they are embarrassed to admit. They don't want to tell anybody about it. They feel ashamed by it. But often times if you think about, you know, being in a situation where you're either seeking approval or seeking some kind of status or you want to show that person that they made the wrong decision. Those things are very, very good sources of energy.

They're not socially accepted. People don't like to talk about them. But if we're being real here, you have felt it yourself that those things motivate you more than you like to admit. So instead of just avoiding them, what I suggest is that you adopt them and you use them as a source of energy to move you through the things that suck, that you don't want to do, but are necessary steps in your journey to go out there and to achieve all the things that it is that you want to achieve.

And most people never get fulfilled because they build identities that they can defend rather than ones that they accept as being true for themselves. They think about how is this going to look? How are people are going to perceive me? And they want to be able to sit in those situations and be able to defend their decisions rather than just being real with themselves about the things that they really want and then just doing everything they need to do to go and make that happy.

If you ask most people, they're going to be ashamed of saying that they want to make money. Like if you ask most business owners why you're doing this, they're going to come up with this big crazy vision of like all of these things rather than just talking about the real reason that it is that a lot of these people want to do it is that they just don't want to be broke and they actually want to make money. I'm basically giving you permission to use dark motivation as a source to get to where it is that you want.

Don't just focus on all the things that you want to achieve. Spend an equal amount of time, if not more, thinking about all of the pain that you are going to experience if you don't achieve the things that you want to, and sit in that. Don't run from it. Use it as a source of fuel to go out there and get everything that it is that you want. I'm rooting for you.