How to Tell Stories Better Than 99% of People transcript

Right. What do I need to win? >> Two triple 20s and a bull's eye. >> Good luck. >> There is a reason Ted Lasso can walk into a room where people underestimate him and minutes later have that same room hanging on his every word. He is an exceptionally good storyteller. And in this video, I'm going to break down two of his best stories to show you [music] exactly what he's doing, how he creates curiosity, when he holds information back, [music] how he drops you into very specific moment, and how he creates exceptional [music] tension.

Then, I'll show you how to use the same techniques to tell stories better than 99% of your [music] colleagues. Hi, I'm Shannon Jenkins. I'm a leadership and storytelling trainer trusted by companies including Nestlé, [music] Nespresso, and Google. And very often, what stands between someone and their next leadership role is their ability to move and influence people. Storytelling is one of the most powerful tools we have to do just that.

And we're going to see it with Ted. Now, before we get into it, if you haven't seen Ted Lasso, it is a comedy about an American college football coach who is hired to manage an English Premier League football team despite not knowing anything or virtually anything about football. Side note, I genuinely recommend watching it because it is such a good show. But also, because Ted has this extraordinary ability to use stories to disarm people, to make an idea memorable, and change the way people see things.

And the two scenes we're going to analyze together are perfect examples of that. So, before I show you this first scene, let me give you a bit of context so you understand it better. Rebecca owns Richmond, a football club in the English Premier League. She acquired the club through her divorce from with its former owner Rupert, who is a wealthy, arrogant, and powerful man. And just before this scene, Rebecca discovers that Rupert has found a way back into the club by financing a minority stake through his new fiance.

So, they're all in a pub, and Rupert makes it very clear to Rebecca and her coach Ted Lasso that he intends to sit in the owner's box every week to get in front of the cameras and publicly undermine the way that Rebecca runs the club. Ted, the perfect underdog, quietly listens to Rupert's little demonstration of power. And then, he notices the dartboard. Rupert is an experienced darts player. Ted plays himself down and and asks Rupert to explain the rules to him.

And Rupert suggests later that they play a game for 10,000 pounds. And of course, he assumes that this will be easy. Ted says, "Oh, no, this is a little bit rich for him." And he proposes something else. He says, "If Rupert wins, he gets to choose Richmond's starting lineup for the final two games. If Ted wins, Rupert has to stay away from the owner's box for as long as Rebecca is in charge." "Deal." They say. Now, by the time we join them in the scene, they are near the end of the game, and Rupert is convinced that he is he has this one.

And that's when Ted starts telling the story we're going to analyze. Let's watch. >> You know, Rupert, guys have underestimated me my entire life. And for years, I never understood why. It used to really bother me. >> Let's stop there. There is already something very clever happening. You see, Ted doesn't start with "When I was 10 years old, I used to play darts with" He deliberately doesn't tell us the most interesting piece of information yet.

Instead, he gives us an unresolved question. Why have people underestimated him his entire life? And now I want the answer. That's tension. And tension in storytelling, it doesn't have to mean that somebody's about to die or the company is about to collapse. It simply means creating curiosity in your audience's mind that they then want to resolve. Let's keep watching. >> Then one day I was driving my little boy to school and I saw this quote by Walt Whitman that was painted on the wall there.

It said, "Be curious, not judgemental." I like that. >> Do you notice how specific that is? Ted could have said, "Then I came across a quote that changed the way I thought about it." No, that is a summary. Instead, he takes us into the moment. He's driving his little boy to school and he sees the words painted on a wall. This is one of the biggest differences between reporting what happened and actually telling a story.

Weak storytellers will stay at the helicopter level. Such as, "We realized something needed to change. There was a lot of resistance, but eventually we found a solution." Mhm. Instead, zoom into the specific moment. For example, "Three weeks before launch, my biggest customer looked across the table at me and said, 'This is never going to work.'" Or, "I'm sitting in a meeting when our sales director puts one number on the screen and he says, 'Guys, I think we've been solving for the wrong problem.'" Now we're somewhere.

Let's see scene number three. >> Cuz if they were curious, they would ask questions. You know? Questions like, "Have you played a lot of darts, Ted?" >> Let's stop again. So, Ted has finally revealed the question that we should have been asking. But, notice what he still hasn't given us. The answer. So, by this point we really want to know, well, has he played darts before? How good actually is he? Weak storytellers will often kill this tension because they give us the most important information too early.

For example, I grew up playing darts with my father, so when this guy challenged me to a game, I did decided to play dumb. Story curiosity over. You see, you already know where this is going. Instead, give the audience what they need to keep following you, but don't give them the payoff until you're ready for it. >> Which I would have answered, "Yes, sir." Every Sunday afternoon at a sports bar with my father from age 10 to 16 when he passed away.

Barbecue sauce. >> And there's the satisfying payoff to all of that curiosity. Do you notice how Ted doesn't just say, "Yes, I played darts a lot growing up." He gave us Sunday afternoons, a sports bar, his father from age 10 to age 16. And in one sentence, I can picture this ritual between a father and his son. And then, he tells us his father passed away. And now this isn't really a story about being good at darts anymore.

There's meaning, there's emotion behind him. And what is particularly effective is that Ted reveals something unexpectedly personal, and we suddenly feel something for him. That is what good specificity does. You don't need loads of detail, but you just need the right amount to help us see and feel the moment. And when the story is personal like this, it closes the distance between you and the audience. So, we see Ted's competence through his darts ability, but also his humanity at the same time.

And that combination of both warmth, humanity, and competence is incredibly powerful for a leader. Of course, this is television, so it's beautifully engineered. The story finishes, the dart lands right on the bull's-eye. Your takeaway though is to include stories like this in your professional communication. And if you tell them half as well as Ted, I guarantee you will already communicate better than 99% of your colleagues.

And if you're thinking, "Okay, but how do I actually find and structure stories like these from my own experience?" Well, I've created a free storytelling guide, speak better than 99% of people, and you can download it from the link below. So, from the dart scene, this is a masterclass in creating tension, taking us into a specific moment, using just the right amount of detail, and building connection through a personal revelation.

And this next scene shows us another side of Ted's storytelling skills. So, a little bit of context before we dive in. Richmond have started the season with seven consecutive draws. In the final minute of a match against Nottingham Forest, they are equal at two all, and one of the players, Dani Rojas, has a penalty that could finally give Richmond their first win. Just as Dani strikes the ball, Earl Greyhound, the club's beloved dog, the mascot, runs across the goal chasing a pigeon.

The ball hits Earl and kills him right there and then in front of the whole stadium. And later at the press conference, a journalist asks Ted what he has to say about Earl's death. Let's watch how he answers it. >> wondering if you had any comments on Earl, the dog Dani Rojas killed today. >> Mhm. Trent Crim bringing that heat. Yeah. Well, when I was 3 years old, I got attacked by our neighbor's dog. I I don't remember it happening, but my mother said it was pretty pretty scary, you know. >> That's such an unexpected place to start.

Richmond's beloved mascot has just been killed in a freak accident on the pitch, and everyone is expecting some kind of compassionate response. And Ted starts by telling us about a dog that had to attacked him when he was three. But this is storytelling 2.0. He takes us almost to the edge of how unexpected an opening can be. Because at that point, nobody can see where he is going with this. And for a moment, it almost sounds a bit unempathetic.

A dog has just died, and Ted appears to be explaining why he doesn't particularly like dogs. And that immediately puts a question in my mind. Well, what does this have to do with Earl? So, I keep listening. And there's a lesson in that for you, too. Novelty gets attention. If you start somewhere people didn't expect you to start, you create a reason for them to keep listening. Let's see where he takes it. >> I do remember being afraid of dogs while growing up, though.

Like if I was at a friend's house for a sleepover, some they'd have to keep their family dog outside, otherwise I'd bawl my eyes out. >> Years later, when Ted is in high school, his neighbor loses his wife and stops properly looking after their dog. And then Ted reveals which dog it is. >> Then in high school, our neighbor, Mr. Grady, well, his his wife passed away. And he was real sad about that, >> [music] >> you can imagine.

And he just kind Same one that bit me. His name was Hank. >> And there's the twist. The dog we're expecting Ted to hate is the same dog he's about to start caring for. This story is going nowhere near where we thought it was going. And that's a more advanced storytelling technique. You lead your audience towards one reasonable assumption and then reveal something that forces them to reinterpret what they just heard.

We heard this was a story about why Ted didn't like dogs, perhaps even why Earl's death didn't affect him that much. Now, it's beginning to feel completely different. And once again, I need to know what happens next. Let's keep watching. >> And so I started looking after him, you know. Feeding him, taking him on walks, playing [music] fetch, all that fun stuff. Eventually, Mr. Grady's son moved his dad into a nursing home and he asked if I wanted to keep Hank and I was like, yeah, heck yeah.

And then a year or so after that, we had to put Hank to sleep. >> Do you notice something different here? Earlier, Ted slowed right down when the details mattered. But now, he's covering years in a few sentences. That's another thing good storytellers do. They don't tell every part of the story at the exact same speed. Slow down around the moments you want us to really experience the events and speed up through the information we simply just need to know to understand. >> It's funny to think about the things in your life that can make you cry, [music] just knowing that they existed can then become the same thing that make you cry knowing that they're now gone. >> And now he's starting to tell us what the story means.

Let's keep watching. >> I think those things come into our lives to help us get from one place to a better one. And I hope >> [music] >> we helped Earl do just that. We're going to miss him around here a whole bunch. >> And this is perhaps the most important part of the story. Ted doesn't just tell us what happened to Hank, he tells us what it meant. The dog that once made him cry because he was terrified of it, eventually made him cry because he loved it and it was gone.

And then Ted takes that experience and turns it into a bigger idea. Some things come into our lives and move us from one place to a better one. This is the move that turns a personal memory into an inspiring story with a message for the listener. And it maps perfectly on the storytelling framework I teach, CART. CART stands for context, action, result, takeaway. Now, the takeaway is the part that people most often forget, but it is critical for the audience to see the relevance of what you share.

Why did you tell me this story? What does it mean for the people listening? And look at exactly what Ted does. You see, he doesn't finish with Hank, he brings the meaning of his own experience straight back to Earl and to the people listening. So, what began as this bizarre story about being attacked by a dog becomes a far more moving tribute to Earl than the standard expected statement of condolences ever could. And once again, we come away seeing Ted as somebody deeply thoughtful, sensitive, and caring.

So, let me summarize what we can learn from Ted. One, create curiosity. Give me something that I want to understand, an unanswered question, a piece of information you're holding back, a destination I want you to take me to. Two, create tension. Give me a reason to care about what happens next. There needs to be something uncertain, something important at stake, something I want resolved. Three, zoom in to a specific moment.

Don't give me the helicopter view of everything that happened. Take me into the specific meeting, the specific conversation, the specific moment where something has changed. Four, change the pace. Slow down around the moments that you want us to experience and speed through the information we simply need to know. Five, introduce something unexpected. Ted does this beautifully. The story doesn't always go to where we think it will.

There's a twist, a surprising detail, or an unexpected opening that makes us pay attention. And six, use personal stories to close the gap between competence and warmth. You don't need to overshare. And personal does not mean private, but a well-chosen personal detail lets people see the human being behind the expertise. And that is particularly important for leaders who have the tendency to overemphasize their competence, their credibility at the expense of the human side.

People need to believe you're competent, but they also need to feel that they can trust you, connect with you, and follow your direction. And finally, seven, land with a takeaway. Don't leave your audience wondering why you told them the story. What did it mean? What changed? The ending should make the whole story click into place. You want that moment where the audience thinks, "Ah, that's why you told me that." That was clever.

Well done. And if you want to put all of this into practice, as I said, download my free storytelling guide to speak better than 99% of people. It will help you to find the right story, how to structure it, and how to make it resonate. The link is below. And if this is a skill that you want to work on either individually or with your teams, I encourage you to check out my program Speak to Resonate, where we really learn how to tell stories to captivate, inspire, connect, to make action happen in your organization.